


Single And Seeking

by authorgirl



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Eventual Romance, F/M, Friendship, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-30
Updated: 2019-06-26
Packaged: 2019-07-04 11:51:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 31,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15840723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/authorgirl/pseuds/authorgirl
Summary: Olivia Benson loves being a mother. She can do everything on her own, but sometimes she could use an extra pair of hands, she wants Noah to have a father, and it would be nice if someone was there for her too.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Author's note Thank-you for reading my writing! Thank-you for your time!
> 
> This story takes place after Olivia's break-up with Tucker. Noah is almost 4
> 
> Barson Always

Olivia Benson awoke to the sound of her 3 year old son's cries, she instantly went into mommy mode, throwing the covers off herself, jumping out of bed, and running to his room. Fear gripped her heart. "Oh sweet boy. She said picking Noah up. "What's wrong?" He continued to cry loudly. She felt his head, and found he was silently warm. "Poor baby", she said. Still holding him tightly she ran to the bathroom. She grabbed and wet a washcloth. She placed it on his head. His crying quieted a little. She carried him to her bed, laid him down, and placed the washcloth back on his head. She grabbed the phone on her nightstand, and hit speed dial. She got the answering service.

"Dr. Lee's office," said a woman with a thick Brooklyn accent."How may I help you?"

"I need to make an emergency appointment for my son, Noah Benson. He needs to be seen this morning as soon as possible. When can you get him in?"

"I'm sorry Dr. Lee is on vacation, for the next 2 weeks."

"What?" My son needs to see a Dr. I'm sure, if Dr. Lee is on vacation she has someone covering for her."

"She does, but the Dr. is all booked for today. The soonest I can get your son in is Friday morning."

"Friday morning? No, it's Wednesday, that's not good enough. He needs to see a Dr. today. Dr. Lee has kept a very close eye on him. My son has a history of respiratory issues."

Olivia head the woman sigh loudly before speaking again. "Get him here by 8AM that's the best I can do, I'm leaving a note for the Dr."

"Thank-you", Olivia answered glancing at the clock on her nightstand, It was 6:45. She heard the woman on the other end of the line hang up. She sat next to Noah on the bed, and rubbed his face. She then felt his head again, he was slightly cooler. She called Lucy, and asked her to meet them at the doctor's office instead of the apartment. Lucy said it was no problem and hung up. Olivia fingers flew across the keypad of her phone once again, she knew the number she wanted to reach by heart.

"Hello?" said the familiar voice on the other end.

"Barba, I know we said we would meet for coffee at 8 to discuss the Sanders case, but something came up."

"Everything Ok Liv?"

"I have to take Noah to the Dr. I'll call you when I'm done."

"Liv if you need anything, let me know."

"I'm sure it's not serious, but I don't want to take any chances. If everything works out do you have some time later today to go over things?"

"I'll make the time, just call me."

"OK, thanks Barba." She quickly hung up the phone and ran to get ready.

"Ma", Noah said. The sound of her son's little voice filled her with relive, Noah could now speak but he didn't like to speak when he didn't feel good, she took it as a good sign, and carried him to the bathtub.


	2. Chapter 2

Olivia got to Dr. Lee's with Noah at 7:50, it was now 8:05, but it felt like an eternity. She wished Dr. Lee wasn't on vacation. On days like this she even wished she wasn't a single mom, it would be nice for Noah to have a father, it would have been nice to have an extra pair of hands this morning. She had no food in her system, but more importantly she had no coffee She didn't have time to put a drop of makeup on, she was sure she looked exhausted, and no matter what happened she would be late for work if she went at all. The good news was that after she gave Noah a bath, he seemed cooler and a little less miserable. Noah was sitting on her lap, and she gently rubbed his head. "It's ok sweet boy", she said softly.

"Olivia" Lucy said entering the waiting room, and sitting in the chair next to her. "Hey bubby" she said to Noah. "I bought you a coloring book." She held it up, and the little boy touched it with his left hand. "They didn't call you in yet?"

"No, he was fine last night, early this morning he woke up screaming." Olivia said her voice full of worry.

"I'm sure he'll be fine Liv, he's not crying now, you can go to work if you need to."

"No, Lucy, I need to be here. If it's not serious, I'll go soon."

""I'm sure you have a lot to do today."

"I have a lot to do everyday, I'm his mother. I need to be here. If he's not seen soon, I do have to call in."

"No one from the station called you yet? I'm shocked."

"I'm not. My squad thinks I'm having coffee with Barba."

"Did you call him?" I ask because I know he was worried about you after the townhouse." Lucy said, her voice laced with guilt.

"That's why I called him, and Lucy you did the right thing telling me about the townhouse situation." Lucy smiled, but Olivia still saw guilt in her eyes. "You did the right thing. What time is it?"

"8:20." Lucy answered glancing intently at her watch.

"I think I did the wrong thing bringing Noah here. I should have brought him to the emergency room."

"Dr. Lee is so good with Noah, and she's always on time."

"Dr. Lee is on vacation. We're leaving." Olivia said getting up from the chair she had been sitting in since 7:50. "We're going to the hospital." She held Noah tightly."As if on cue a nurse in pink scrubs opened the door.

"Olivia Benson. You can bring Noah in now." Olivia turned her head in the direction of the nurse, and walked through the door to the employee/ patient area. "I'm sorry to keep you waiting", the nurse continued. She smiled at Noah and Noah clung to his mother. The nurse led them to an examine room that was painted pale blue. Olivia sat in the black chair next to the examine table. "The Dr. should only be a few minutes more. Noah is not here for a checkup correct?"

"No, he had his checkup. I called the answering service this morning because he woke up sick, and I didn't want to take any chances. He was warm when he woke up, but cooled down after a bath." Olivia answered. The blond nurse nodded, and then looked at the chart in her hand.

"Does Noah go to school or daycare yet?" The blond asked.

"Yes."

"Well I think you did the right thing, there's a lot of bugs going around kids are picking up. He had all his shots right?"

"He's up to date on them Yes." Olivia answered.

"Good." She said walking across the small room, opening the door, and walking out.

Olivia sighed, took her phone out and dilled. She placed the phone on her ear, and waited for it to connect. "Fin it's me. Noah woke up sick this morning, so I took him in for an emergency appointment, but Dr. Lee has someone coving for her. I'm in the examine room, but we haven't seen a Dr. yet. I hope this Dr. knows what he or she is doing." At that moment Olivia saw the door open.

"I assure you I know what I'm doing." A tall man with blonde hair, and brown eyes said, stepping into the room, and quietly closing the door.

"Oh Fin, I gotta go. The Dr. is here. I'll call when we're done." She hung up her phone.

"Yes I'm the Dr.", said the man, he was wearing tan pants and a matching shirt.

"I'm sorry Dr. It's been a long morning."

"I understand. You trust Dr. Lee, you don't know me, and I kept you waiting. This young man must be Noah", he said softly. The Dr. stretched out his arms to the boy who still clung to Olivia.

"Noah", she said, "this man is going to let you sit on that table, and mommy is going to be here the whole time. I'm not going anywhere." Her words were more for the Dr.'s benefit than Noah's. The boy stopped clinging to Olivia, and allowed the Dr. to lift him up on the examine table. Olivia slipped her cell phone into her pocket and stood.

"I'm Dr. Taylor by the way," He said looking at Olivia. What's seems to be the problem today?"

"Noah woke up early crying, and screaming. He barely said anything today, and he felt very warm when I picked him up. The bath I gave him seems to have helped " Olivia watched as Dr. Taylor began to examine the little boy. "I think it could be an ear infection, I hope that's all it is. She said.

"According to his chart, he has a history of them."

"Yes and respiratory issues."

"I can see why you would be concerned. She watched as Dr. Taylor listened to Noah's heart, and lugs.

"Well,his lugs are clear, let's check out your ears Noah." Dr. Taylor shined a light into both ears. "You're right. It's an ear infection, he has no fever right now. I'll give you eardrops."

"Are you sure there's no fever because if there is I have to call in?"

"No, he has no fever." Dr. Taylor answered, as he wrote out the prescription. "I would keep an eye on him, but he should be fine." He looked at Olivia, handed her the prescription, and continued speaking. "You work?" He said giving her a little smile.

"Excuse me?"

"You said if Noah had a fever you would have to call in. I don't see a lot of working moms in this area."

"Yes, Dr. Taylor, I work, many mothers do." Olivia answered picking Noah up from the table. "Come on, sweet boy, I think a nap is in order."

"I know women work, but not so much around here. Most of the time I see nannies taking care of kids while their mothers are getting their nails done. I see a lot of Manhattan high society. I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong idea. It's fantastic when a woman works, I really just don't see the mothers of my patients doing it." I'm a male feminist."

Olivia smiled. "Thank-you for your help Dr. I really have get going."

"Sorry for the long wait MS.?"

"Olivia Benson." She answered.

"Here's my cell number in case Noah needs me. It's much faster than the answering service."" He said handing her a card from his pocket.

"It's fine, Dr. Taylor. Thank-you. for the prescription. I feel better knowing for sure it's an ear infection and nothing more serious."

"Brad please", he answered. "Listen, I love kids, but I need a little adult conversation and by that I mean intellectual conversation. Do you mind having dinner with me, say Friday at 8?"

"That's sweet, but I don't think so. I'm very busy."

"Please. let me make up for the long wait. I really need to get out."

"OK," Olivia answered half heartedly walking toward the door. "I gotta run. My cell is in Noah's file. You should know , I don't have the best record of keeping plans. I get called into work emergencies a lot."

"I see. You're not a Dr. by any chance?"

"A cop", she said simply, rushing out the door with Noah in her arms.


	3. Chapter 3

It was a long day for Olivia Benson, and it was only noon. The moment she ran into the squad room after Noah's appointment, she saw a woman ready to report a rape. Tears streamed down the woman's face as she told Olivia every horrifying detail she could remember. Olivia listened intently as she took the report. Before the woman left the station with her father, she squeezed Olivia's hand tightly. "I told you what happened, please don't let him get away with what he did to me." The woman said weakly.

"I'll do everything I can," Olivia answered." We'll do everything we can." On some days Olivia took ten or more similar reports, she hoped she wouldn't have to take another one today, but there was always another one, if not today then tomorrow.

Olivia reached for her purse and retrieved some makeup. She didn't have any time to apply makeup. this morning, and she was sure she looked like a wreck. She stated with a little blush. Then she put on just a touch of eye makeup. She stood up at her desk, a very dark pink lipstick in her hand. She applied it quickly, but carefully, and pressed her lips together slowly.

"Hey." She heard the familiar voice of her friend Rafael Barba, say. He was standing near the doorframe, he normally knocked on before entering her office. He normally knocked on the doorframe before speaking. This time she heard no knock, and she wondered if that was just because she was distracted. She thought she closed the door to her office all the way before entering it. She quickly put all the makeup back in her bag, and zipped it up.

"Hey, come in. How long have you been standing there?"

Barba stepped into the office. "Not long". He replied. He quickly walked over to her desk, he stood across from her and looked at her intently. "Are you ok? I didn't hear from you after the early morning phone call. How's Noah?"

"He'll be fine, thankfully it's just an ear infection, he had no fever when we left the doctor's office. I told Lucy to call if anything changes. He'll probably sleep most of the day. I was going to call you when I got in, but I had to take a statement, and I just finished. I was actually just about to call you now." Barba nodded reassuringly knowing she meant what she said.

"I knew everything would work out." Olivia gave him a half smile.

"You think you know everything Barba?"

"I try." He answered giving her a full smile back.

Olivia laughed softly. "What?" she asked confused suddenly feeling self-conscious that Barba was staring at her, his green eyes filled with concern.

"How are you doing?"

"I just told you."

"No, you told me how Noah is doing, and that you took a statement. You didn't say how you're doing.

"I look that bad huh? I have a spitting headache. She stepped away from her desk.

'I have a cure for that."

"I know, coffee, that's your cure for everything,"

Barba laughed. "Funny but no, and I thought coffee was your cure for everything."

"You're the only person I know who drinks more coffee than I do."

"Seriously, you want that headache gone? You trust me? Step away from your desk. He stopped staring into her eyes and walked to the middle of the room.

"Why?" She said, apprehension in her voice. She stepped away from her desk and walked toward her office door closing it.

"Liv. I'm not going to hurt you, I'm just going to get rid of that headache"

"Give me a minute." She opened the door, and walked out into the squad room, "Rollins", Barba head her say. "You have these crime scene photos from the Sanders case? Barba needs them". she wasn't lying they still needed to discuss the case. Olivia walked quickly back to her office, her headache was getting worse by the minute. In her hands she held photos, and papers. He walked over to her and took the evidence from her hand placing it in his briefcase and placing his briefcase on the floor. Olivia closed her office door and all the blinds. After closing the blinds, she noticed that Barba had moved her desk chair to the middle of the room. "Is there a reason you moved my chair?"

"Yes. Is this chair comfortable?"

"Yes."

"Good. Sit down." he said reassuringly

She walked toward her chair, confusion in her brown eyes."You know what you're doing?" She asked after a moment of silence.

"I do" He answered. You can trust me Liv.

"I know." She said quickly, and she sat in the chair.

Barba moved to stand in front of her, and leaned in. "Put your arms at your side, and relax them." He watched as she did what he asked. "Are they relaxed?"

"I think so. I'm not worried about my hands or arms, I'm worried about my head."

"Liv, trust me, you need to relax in order for this to work."

"Or I can just have a cup of coffee."

"Believe me sometimes that makes it worse. Liv relax, close your eyes."

"What?" She said trying to hide the nervousness in her voice.

"Liv, we're in a police station, but it doesn't matter where we are. You can trust me, Close your eyes." Barba sighed softly in relief when he saw her eyes shut. Olivia felt Barba;s hands gently massaging her arms, she was suddenly very subconscious. This morning, in her rush she had forgotten to put on a blazer. She was wearing a red short sleeve dress. She felt herself tense." Breathe " She heard him say, and listening to him helped. She felt his hands on hers. "I'm just making sure your hands and arms are relaxed." He said softly. Suddenly she felt his hands move gently to her temples, right at the spot her head was throbbing. He slowly massaged in a circular motion, he then moved his hands and massaged her forehead. She could feel the headache leaving her. "Feel a little better?"

Olivia opened her eyes. "Yes." She said surprise filling her voice.

"You need me to keep going, I can massage your neck and scalp."

"No." She said quickly. "It's gone. Barba, Thank-you." She smiled. "Where did you learn that?"

"One of my many cousins is a massage therapist. I wanted to learn and I did. All the woman in my family have suffered from tension headaches. My mother always needs a neck massage. my abuela needed her back and feet rubbed almost every night."

"How many times have I told you, you're a good son and grandson?"

"Maybe one day I'll believe it."

"I don't have any cousins, I feel like before Noah I had no family. no father, a drunk mother who pretended I didn't exist. " Olivia sighed. "I better stop before the headache comes back" Let's go over the Sanders case. That's why you're here."

"Talking about work less stressful than talking about yourself?"

"Sometimes."

"Liv. I'm your friend, anytime you want a sidebar I'm here."

"Sidebar, like the one we had when your friend Eddie got himself into hot water?"

"Yes. Who says there has to be a crisis for us to have a sidebar?"

"No one." In truth Olivia enjoyed herself during that sidebar, it was almost the perfect afternoon, and it would have been had Eddie not been in trouble. "I think you have a good idea there Barba."

"Just good, don't you know by now I'm brilliant. He smiled. Olivia smiled back as she rolled her eyes.

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

It was just 9P.M. when Olivia sat down to unwind. When she arrived home at 7:30 Noah was running a slight fever again, she gave him a cool bath, and his eardrops. She held him after putting on his pajamas, and within moments he was in a deep sleep. Tonight,she would sleep in the rocking chair near his bed, so she could keep a close eye on him. She was just about to close her eyes for a moment when she heard her phone ring. she quickly answered.

"Benson" She said softly into her cell phone.

"How's Noah?"

"Good now, his fever is down again."

"Good, How's the headache?"

"What headache? Barba, thank-you again, you made it easier to get through the day."

"My pleasure."

"Barba anytime you need a sidebar...

"Lieutenant", Barba interrupted "Whenever I need a sidebar, I always come and find you "

Olivia laughed softly, not sure what else to do. "Good night Counselor."

"Good night, sleep well Liv.

"Sleep well," she answered. "Come by the station tomorrow, I need to go over some things with you."

"Sure, I can be there at noon. Liv, try not to stress OK?"

"Says the man who always stresses."

"You don't need anymore tension. I can't give you a massage everyday, some days I have to be in court.." She heard him chuckle. "Don't worry I'll be there at noon to talk shop. Good night Liv, sleep well. " Before she could say anything else Barba hung up.


	4. Chapter 4

As Rafael Barba entered the squad room at 11:55A.M. he heard laughter and then talking. "No Sonny they'll be back soon, not now." He heard Rollins say. Carisi was standing close to her, and leaning in for a kiss which she gave him. Carisi wrapped his arms around her.

"Anything you would like to share? Rollins? Carisi?" Barba asked. He watched the two pull apart, and look at him.

Carisi spoke "Actually there is, this morning in front of Jesse, and over a bowl of Cheerios I asked Rollins to marry me."

"I said yes!" Rollins exclaimed. She moved closer to Barba ."See the ring." She bent her hand in front of Barba's face, so he could see the diamond sparkle.

"Congratulations you two. "Does Liv know?"

"No", Rollins answered quickly.

"We're telling her today." Carisi continued. "She has a lot on her plate. Between work and Noah I don't think she's even noticed we're together."

"Don't be so sure", Barba replied quickly. "Where is Liv, she wanted to meet at noon."

"She and Fin went to talk to someone, but they should be back very soon. Maybe, I should hide the ring for awhile" Rollins said. A moment later Barba saw Fin, Olivia walked quickly behind him, carrying coffee for everyone in a brown cardboard tray. "Fin. he raped her." Olivia said.

"Liv, we don't know that."

"I believe her. That girl was not looking to have sex."

"They were dating, it's a he said, she said."

"They had one date, one date, and that girl was traumatized!"

"Maybe she regrets it, but that doesn't mean he forced her. You didn't like that he showed you he had porn on his phone, but that doesn't make him a rapist "

"No, it makes him stupid. This isn't about porn. That entitled basted raped her." Olivia said walking quickly between desks. "Coffee for everyone." She stopped at Carisi's desk, and he took two cups from the tray. He handed one to Rollins.

"You called Barba already?" Fin said looking at the ADA, as he took his place at his desk.

"Yes." Olivia was now standing at the side of Fin's desk, and he reached for a cup of coffee. "No, not that one."

"Why?" Fin asked, reaching for the cup next to it, and taking it.

"That's Barba's. coffee." She walked straight to Barba, and stopped. "Take the cup on the right." He did, and Olivia walked toward her office. Barba took a tiny sip of coffee, and followed her.

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

"Give me the facts Liv." Barba said once they were in her office. He watched her quickly pace. "I know he raped her, I know it."

"Sit down, have your coffee, and tell me what you got?" Olivia took her coffee from the cardboard tray. She threw the cardboard into the trash bin next to her desk. She sighed, and sat down behind the desk. Barba could see all the stress on her face, and yet, she was still the most beautiful woman there ever was or would ever be. He took a quick sip of coffee, pushing his personal thoughts to the back of his mind.

When he looked up from the cup, Olivia spoke. "Yesterday Nicole Price came in, and I took her report. She asked me not to let this man get away with it, and I don't intend to."

"What's the story?" Barba asked in order to encourage her to continue. She straightened her back, and went into Lieutenant mode, which is what she and he needed right now.

Olivia gave him nothing but the facts. "Nicole Price, 23 came in with her father. She said she had a date two nights ago with a guy she met off of a dating site, called Soul Mate Search. She remembers having dinner with him, and kissing him. She says at 2A.M. she woke up in a bathroom she didn't recognize, on a walk-in shower floor. She didn't leave his house until 8A.M. He went by the name Knight and Shining Armor on the site. Nicole says his real name is Victor Glen. Of course his dating profile has been deleted.

"Fin and I went to talk to Mr. Glen at his home. He admitted to taking Nicole out to dinner. He says, he has no clue why she would say he raped her. He admits to having sex with her. He says the reason she left his house in a cab at 8A.M. was because they went for round two at about 7A.M. He said he was planning on asking her out again."

"He showed you pictures on his phone?"

"Yes, and there were pictures of Nicole smiling, they were a little revealing. He had porn on there too."

"Liv, do you think it's possible, she made the part about the bathroom up?" Maybe she had a one-night-stand, and regrets it Her father brought her in, maybe she doesn't want him to know. Did she do a rape kit?"

"No, but she went to the Dr."

"Ok that could be a start?"

"A start? His dating profile has been deleted. I want Soul Mate Search to retrieve it."

"Liv, you know I trust your instincts, but it's not enough, This guy can say he met Nicole and was so taken with her that he deleted his profile right after meeting her."

Olivia laughed "Who would believe that story?"

"A lot more people than you may think. You never head of a person saying the moment they set eyes on their spouse they knew? A person who believes something like that is possible, could also believe that this guy having met Nicole, and taken her out to dinner deleted his profile right away. He had revealing pictures of her on his phone."

"Raffa, I know that this woman was raped. She's terrified. She's also been very sheltered. I know that this 23 year old woman,who went on Soul Mate search did not consent to sex She told me this guy was the first person she ever kissed."

"She's 23."

"I know. It might sound strange to you that a person in their twenties has never been kissed, but it happens, there are people who stay away from all temptation, but they are still human, they still have desires , and at some point they push boundaries a little, but they never go too far. Nicole might have taken pictures, because she 's young and sheltered. Maybe talking to him made her feel desire and desirable .Maybe, Nicole was curious, but that woman was saving herself for marriage."

"All of that is in the report."

"Not all of it."

"I need to talk to her."

"I know, thank-you."

"Barba smiled. "How is Noah?"

"Good, I was up with him three times last night. I slept in the rocking chair beside his bed." She finished her coffee. "Thanks for asking." Barba smiled, and was about to say something when Olivia's cell phone rang. "Benson." She answered. "Dr. Taylor. Is everything ok? Oh, that's right. Listen, I'm swamped here, I'm sorry but I can't make it on Friday. I'm sorry. Dr. Taylor thank-you for your help with Noah. He was doing a lot better this morning. Have a nice day" Olivia said before hanging up.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank-you for reading!

A.D.A. Rafael Barba was thrilled the weekend was finally over. He spent most of it, the way he spent the majority of his weekends, in isolation, buried under a pile of paperwork. His stubborn mother was always trying to drag him out, but he was equally as stubborn. Thankfully, this weekend he was able to smile while talking to Olivia, who he called three times over this weekend. He was happy and relived that Noah was doing so much better. He was very curious who Dr. Taylor was. He wanted to ask her about him, but he didn't. He was Olivia's friend, she would talk to him about it when she wanted to, if there was anything to talk about. He did know Olivia didn't spend any time with Dr. Taylor on Friday night. Barba smiled thinking of the Friday night phone call with his friend. 

It was now Monday at 3P.M. He was now sitting at his desk waiting for Olivia and Miss Price.

 

"Hello Lieutenant Benson. Go on in." He heard Carmen say. He stood up, and was about to walk out to greet Olivia when he saw her standing by his doorframe. Her dark brown hair was damp. Quickly, Barba looked out a big widow, and saw that the sky had opened up. Despite the fact that his office door was open, Olivia hesitated. She tapped once on the frame.

 

"May we come in?" Olivia asked.

 

"Please." Barba answered, motioning for her to come in. 

 

"I'm here with Nicole Price. Do you need a minute?"

 

"No come on in." He answered. Olivia entered and Nicole Price followed slowly behind her. Olivia turned to Nicole. "Nicole this is ADA. Rafael Barba. We're going to sit down and talk. Barba sat down behind his desk, Olivia sat in the chair directly across from him, and Nicole moved her chair closer to Olivia before sitting down. 

 

"I'm sorry we're meeting under these circumstances Miss Price. I know this is very difficult. We will go as slowly as you need, all I ask is that you don't leave anything out that you remember."

 

Nicole turned in her chair to face Olivia, she tucked a short blond hair behind her ear. "Wait, he's a man, how... how... can a describe everything I remember to him."

 

"Nicole, sweetheart, you have to get used to telling your story, juries are made up of both men and woman. You can trust Mr. Barba. He works very hard for victims."

 

"You have to say that."

 

"No, I don't Nicole. A.DA. Barba has put away a lot of bad men, and some women." 

 

Nicole glanced at Barba, and then turned her body back toward Olivia. "Do you trust him Olivia?"

 

"I told you he's very good at his job."

 

"Answer my question? Do you trust him?" If you were in my shoes?"

 

"Yes, Nicole, I trust him."

 

Nicole looked at Barba again. "I started talking to Victor about 2 months ago, first we emailed, then he called me every night. It was nice.... to have someone to talk to. I thought we really understood each other. We talked about everything. I have never been able to talk like that to anyone. It's sad. How could I have trusted someone I never met in person? We decided to meet on Monday night. Victor said he had some time off work, and I finally had some free time. I'm a business major at NYU, and I work in the office for pocket money. My last class was canceled on Monday, so we decided to have dinner."

 

"Did he pick you up?" Barba asked.

 

"No, I told him I didn't want him to. I trusted him, but I still live with my parents, and they wouldn't have approved of me going out?"

 

"Why?" Barba asked quickly.

 

"They like to pick my dates for me. I just wanted a few dates with him before I introduced him to them. If everything worked out. I was sure they would like him and overlook how we met. I'm in college to make myself more desirable for marriage. I come from money, my parents want me to find the right partner, meaning he has to make a ton of money. Victor said he was in advertising and he comes from old money too. I thought it would it be perfect... that I would get what I wanted and still be able to make my family happy. I met him at this new Italian restaurant called Verona's. We had a great meal, I felt like a princess. I agreed to go back to his apartment for cappuccino. I had no reservations, he was the perfect gentleman. When we got to his place, we continued our conversation. We were sitting together on his couch side by side I put my first cup of cappuccino down on the coffee table. He turned toward me, he put his hands on my shoulders and he started kissing me. It felt good, I wanted him to, but then my brain kicked in. I took both hands and pushed at him, so that he would stop or slow down. He kissed my neck.. I said that we had to stop, that I couldn't do this, it was too soon, too fast.

He seemed disappointed but he said he understood, he said I was right. He asked me to stay and talk. I shouldn't have, but I poured myself another cappuccino, Next thing I know I was on the floor of a walk-in-shower. He must have dragged me in there."

 

"I'm sorry, Miss Price." Barba said quietly. "Please, understand , there are times in this process I will have to ask you very difficult personal questions. As I said before I have to know everything. Mr. Glenn has pictures of you on his phone. Were you aware of that?"

 

"Yes I was so stupid, I sent him pictures of me in a bathing suite, if you call it that."

 

"Nicole this is not your fault, I don't care if you were completely nude, once you said no to sex that's it. If he didn't stop it's rape, and you can say no at anytime. You understand? Now, I won't lie to you, some members of a jury might have a hard time with those pictures." Olivia said, her voice soft and full of heartfelt compassion.

 

"Do you believe me Olivia?"

 

"Yes."

 

Nicole sighed loudly. "I should have just gone with it. He made me feel wanted, I wanted to be with him, but I had to listen to my brain. No one ever made me feel that way before."

 

"You said no, and if he had intercourse with you that's rape. Anything sexual he did without your consent is an assault." Olivia replied.

 

"If I just went with it, let it happen, he wouldn't have raped me, everything would have been fine, and I wouldn't be where I am now. I would be dating him."

 

"Nicole, you don't want to date any man, capable of rape."

 

"If I just let it happen, he wouldn't have raped me!" A part of me wanted to be with him."

 

"Nicole I know this is difficult..." Before Olivia could finish Nicole turned in her chair, and quickly interrupted. She stared at Olivia, her blue eyes blazing.

 

"What do you know?" Nicole yelled. "You protect yourself! You have never been raped, you have never been attacked and violated! You would never let that happen! For heaven sake, you're armed. I bet you never go anywhere without your gun!"

 

"Nicole sometimes all the training in the world doesn't protect you from an assault, all you can do is fight to survive, and you did, You are a survivor and that's what matters, that's all that matters."

 

"Spare me the little speech Olivia! How do you do this?"

 

"I fight for people, I am, and I will always be an advocate, Someone has to do it."

 

"What kind of person, what kind of woman deals with this everyday? Victim after victim, pervert after pervert, it's sick! Do perverts turn you on Olivia?" Nicole yelled.

 

"Stop now." Barba said. His voice was composed and low, but he was angry, and he didn't care if Miss Price knew it. At the moment, it took every ounce of energy he had to keep his temper in check. 

 

Nicole didn't even flinch at Barba's words. She continued to stare at Olivia. "How many times have you said no? How many times have you been around the block?"

 

"Out." Barba said fighting the urge to stand up.

 

"What?" Nicole yelled, turning away from Olivia, and looking at Barba .

 

"Get out of my office." He said.

 

"What?" Are you serious?" Olivia asked, disbelief in her voice.

 

"Please, Miss Price, get out of my office now."

 

"You can't kick me out!"

 

"Lieutenant Benson believes you, she asked me to speak with you, I did. I listened, and for now I've head enough. Get out." Nicole stood up from the office chair and ran out. Olivia glanced at Barba for a moment, and ran out of his office, following Nicole.

 

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It was 6P.M. when Olivia reentered Barba's office. He stood up from his desk, and stepped away from it.

 

"You threw a victim out of your office! Olivia said angrily. 

 

"Hello to you too." Barba said calmly.

 

"What were you thinking?"

 

"I think I made that very clear. I wanted her out."

 

"You know better Barba! You don't do that to a victim.

 

"You think she's a victim."

 

"And you don't trust me? You don't think I can spot someone who has recently been victimized. I have been doing this a long time, and so have you, which is why you know better then to throw a victim out."

 

"I trust you Liv. Are you prepared to tell me that in all of your years in SVU no one has ever made false allegations or accused the wrong person?"

 

"No", she said, placing her hands at her side. She looked away from him, and paced for a moment, something he knew she did when she was upset, thinking or both. She turned quickly to look at him. "You're saying you think she's lying?"

 

"I'm saying she's unstable, I don't trust her. I don't trust her as a witness."

 

"She's traumatized!"

 

"Is she? I'm not sure about that. I have to go over the evidence and think, which is why I told her I heard enough for now."

 

"You don't like her, but how many times have I told you, we don't chose our victims Barba?"

 

"I understand that Liv. I get it. You follow the evidence, but there's not much of it here. You know it. I know you want to believe every person who reports a crime, but sometimes, very rarely people lie about terrible things for revenge, attention, sympathy. Sometimes a victim accuses the wrong person out of fear. Nicole went out to dinner with him." Olivia rolled her brown eyes. Barba continued quickly. He didn't want her to tune him out. "She didn't do a rape kit."

 

"You have any idea how invasive a rape kit is?" Olivia crossed her arms over her chest, and for a split second she rubbed her hands over her arms. "Not every victim has one."

 

"I know that, and you know it makes it harder to prove."

 

"And you know some rapists make sure that their victims take a shower to wash away any DNA evidence."

 

"I'm not saying she's lying, I'm saying I don't know, and it's hard to prove. I don't have much confidence in her right now, and you're right I don't like her, but that doesn't matter. If she was raped, and I think I can prove it, I will do everything I can to get a conviction. I hope you know that by now."

 

Olivia walked to Barba's office couch and sat down, placing her hands in her lap, she felt drained. She spoke softly. "You think over the years every victim has treated me nicely Barba? That's not always how it works. I have been punched, kicked, screamed at, called names, and insulted by victims. It's part of the job. These people who we deal with have been brutalized, traumatized, they are just trying to cope, and at first some don't do it well. They lash out. I have to ask them to relive the worst time in their lives. I'm a reminder of everything bad in the world, sometimes they lash out at me. I don't mind. I can take it."

 

"Liv, I sympathize with victims, I know they lash out,. That's normal, they're human, I understand that. I'm telling you that young woman is unstable."

 

"We once had a victim who striped down to her bra in court, you rushed to cover her with your jacket. By day she was an athlete by night she was prostituting herself. You still defended her. She was raped and you believed her." 

 

"I remember, and once she took the medication she needed she was a much better witness."

 

"You believed her, but you think Nicole was asking for it?" 

 

"I didn't say that. Liv. You know me better than that, much better than that. What I saw in this office was not normal. I know you deal with victims all the time. I know you can handle yourself. This is my office, I won't sit here and watch someone attack you like that! That was disgusting. If you want to hold someone's hand as they attack you in your own office I can't stop you, but I don't have to put up with it! I won't! No muerdas la mano que te da de comer."

 

"Don't bite the hand that feeds you." Olivia translated. Barba nodded. He walked over to his couch and sat down next her. He twisted his body around so that he could look at her.

 

"She needs help, you're trying to help her. You don't deserve that."

 

"She was traumatized."

 

"You're not changing my mind on this Liv! I'm not sorry I told her to get out. She needed to hear it. Behavior like that won't help her on the stand. I told her to stop, she continued to attack you, then I told her to get out. I was about to call you right before you barged in here. I was worried. Where did you go?"

 

"Where do you think?"

 

"You took her home."

 

"You're a smart man Barba."

 

"Don't forget it."

 

"I also went home to check on Noah." 

 

"How is he?"

 

"No fever now, and sleeping. I walked in here so mad at you."

 

"I'm used to it, I'm also used to you forgiving me." He heard her laugh softly for a second.

 

"You shouldn't have kicked her out. Does this count as a sidebar?"

 

"No, but if you need one we'll have one."

 

"Anything she said, I didn't take it personally."

 

"I did. She doesn't know you Liv." 

 

"Nothing she said was true."

 

"I know that Liv! I just couldn't take it! It was vile!"

 

"She's a troubled girl. Are you giving up on this?"

 

"Not until I know for sure she doesn't have a case."

 

"I knew you would say that. You really shouldn't have kicked her out of here."

 

"Liv!" He said as he rolled his eyes.

 

"You shouldn't have Raffa... but thank-you. Thank-you for standing up for me."


	6. Chapter 6

Olivia Benson walked into her apartment carrying a box of take-out., and feeling relived it was once again Friday. She wished crime could take a holiday. She and her squad took countless statements this week. It was the first week of Spring-break for many schools. She called Nicole three times with no response. DR. Taylor wasn't giving up. He called twice to ask her out again. She was so busy she didn't have time to pick up the phone, and she didn't want to until she knew what to say to him. "Noah mommy's home." She said as she closed the front door.

"Hi Liv." Lucy said walking quickly from Noah's bedroom to the living area with Noah in her arm. "How are you?"

"How's my boy? Olivia said smiling at her son. He was dressed in yellow elephant print pajamas.

"He was feeling pretty good today."

"Then I'm good." Olivia answered quickly. "How are you?"

"Good". Lucy answered. "You need me to help you with the box?"

"No, I got it." Olivia said walking over to her kitchen counter and placing the box down. She walked over to Lucy and took Noah from her arms.

"I gave him, his ear drops and his dinner. He ate a little. He did have a slight fever for about an hour, but it's gone now. He still needs his bedtime story, and a bath."

"Thank-you so much for your help Lucy. I'll do that. You can go, I know you have a lot to do."

"Are you sure?" I can stay."

"That's ok, I got it. Do you need anything?"

"No. Thanks Liv. Call if you need me. Bye Noah. Lucy said as she left the apartment.

"Be safe." Olivia called as she watched Lucy leave. Olivia locked the front door, and walked to the bathroom with her son in her arms. He looked so tired. She quickly gave him a cool bath, and changed him into green pajamas with puppies on them. She read him The Poky Little Puppy by Janette Sebring Lowery. She sang him to sleep with the song All The Pretty Little Horses. She gently put him in his bed and kissed his forehead. She shut the light and walked quietly back to her living area. Spending time with Noah helped her, but as soon as he was asleep her mind began to spin again. A part of her wished her son was still awake. She graded her cordless phone, and dialed. The phone rang twice before it was answered.

"Hello."

"Barba, listen I stopped by that brand new sandwich shop, and picked up some tuna. You want to come over and share it with me? I don't want it to go to waste."

"I'll be there in about forty-five minutes. Is that ok?"

"Sure." She answered. She hung up the phone.

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Olivia walked into her bedroom to grab some clothes, and then into her bathroom for a much needed shower. The shower took twenty-five minutes. She dressed quickly in dark blue jeans. For her top she chose an olive green shirt with medium length sleeves, and a crewneck line. She put on a pair of white flats. She didn't want to look like a mess, and she didn't want to look too dressed up. She put on very subtle make-up. She walked out to the kitchen to get the food ready. She had just finished when she heard a soft knock at the door.

"Liv It's me." Barba said. She opened the door quickly. "Hey." He said. His voice came out light and comforting. He also wore dark blue jeans. He had on a beige shirt. She was not used to him looking so casual and calm. She gave him a half smile.

"Hey." "She said. She stepped aside slowly, and he entered quickly. He was carrying a white shopping bag. "Barba did you bring something?"

"I brought some things. Why do you think it took me forty-five minutes to get here?"

"You didn't have to bring anything?"

"Don't worry about it. Rafael Barba doesn't go anywhere empty-handed." He reached into the bag, and pulled out a gray stuffed elephant. "This is for Noah."

"That's so sweet, you really didn't have to." She took the stuffed toy for her son.

"Shh." Barba reached back into the white shopping bag, and pulled out a brown bag, "This is you."

"Barba you didn't have to bring me anything. I didn't even cook. It's take-out. Come to think of it it's lucky for you it's take-out. I'm sure it's better than my cooking."

"Liv, put Eddie, the elephant down, and take a look at what I got you." She smiled, walked a few feet, and placed Eddie on top of the toy-box. She walked over to Barba, and slowly took the brown bag from her friend's hand. She walked to her couch. She reached into the bag. Barba watched her with delight. She pulled out a big Hershey bar, then some expensive coffee, and then two Gardenia-scented candles."

"You didn't have do this. It's not my birthday."

"It was the best I could do under such short notice." Barba said, He silently promised himself next time he had this kind of opportunity with her, he would do much better. He watched as she put most of the stuff back in the bag. She grabbed the Hershey bar, and coffee, and quickly put them away in her small kitchen.

"Barba, it's too much, she said walking back into the living area, and standing across from him.

"No, it's not." She smiled at him. "Come on, I see you have everything set up, let's eat, I'm staving. She followed him to her table. He sat across from her, and enjoyed seeing her in casual clothing. Her dark brown hair was pulled back, but some strands framed her face.

"Barba, are you ok?" He heard her say. He wondered how long he was staring. He blinked. Olivia held a plate out to him, so that he could pick a sandwich.

"Fine."" He grabbed a tuna sandwich. It was true that he was hungry for food, but he was not here for take-out tuna sandwiches. He was here for her, and for her company. She lowed the plate, put it down, and took her sandwich. She always thought of others first. He loved her thoughtfulness, and compassion, but Olivia Benson needed to give herself a break once and a awhile. He watched as she took a bite of food, and a sip of her strawberry smoothie. "As well as I know you, you never cease to surprise me. I never pegged you for the smoothie type"

"I don't drink them often, I felt like I needed it, and I can't remember the last time I had a tuna sandwich." She said. Barba took a bite of his sandwich and a sip of his drink. It was not a strawberry smoothie, it was a pineapple one. During a case years ago, Olivia had tracked him down at Forlini's. That night along with his scotch, he ordered dinner, and a fruit platter that included pineapple. He remembered because it was the first time Olivia had a drink other then coffee with him. He tapped the stool next to him, and told her to sit, drink, and smile. After the words escaped his mouth, she flashed him a look. he tried to read.

"Do me a favor?" He said smiling.

"What?" Olivia asked putting her sandwich down, and meeting his eyes.

"Next time you need a sidebar please say so."

"What are you talking about?" She asked confused.

"You made it sound like the sandwich shop gave you too much food, but you planned this."

"What gave it away?" She asked knowing the answer already.

"You know I love pineapple. You ordered me a pineapple smoothie."

"Guilty, but it was last minute. I had no energy to cook tonight. I just feel drained, so when I went to the sandwich shop, I ordered extra. I figured you didn't eat yet. Honestly, I didn't think I needed a sidebar, but I was wrong." Barba smiled and finished his sandwich.

"How much did you pay for this?"

"I'm not telling you, you'll want to pay for it."

"Fair enough. You need to eat better Liv. My guess is you paid a small fortune for this tuna, this tuna that someone took out of a can, and slapped on a piece of bread." He laughed lightly.

"Sorry, everything in this city is overpriced." You know that."

"I know, don't be sorry, I needed to eat, and I need the company." Olivia let out a quick comforting laugh, he loved her laugh, especially that laugh. Olivia had many laughs and smiles. "You can tell me anything Liv. What's up? Talk to me."

"I didn't know it, but I've needed a sidebar since our meeting with Nicole Price."

"That's understandable."

"You know what I couldn't stand when I first started working in this unit. Whenever I walked onto a crime scene other officers from other units, usually the homicide unit, would say things like It's the panty police It's the sex unit. What's wrong with you people? Why did you volunteer for this? Why do you chose to deal with perverts? Then they would look at me, sometimes up and down, and I knew they were thinking What kind of woman are you? I got used to it, but it hasn't changed much after all these years. It still happens. I know you probably think I should have said something to Nicole. What could I say? I am Lieutenant Olivia Benson, before that Sargent, Olivia Benson, and before that, and for a very long time Detective Olivia Benson . My heart goes out to Nicole it really does, but when she was saying these things I wanted to yell at her. You have no idea who I am, you have no idea what I've been through in life. I wanted to scream at her Barba . I wanted to scream, run out of the room, get down on a floor and cry Don't worry I won't cry, I don't cry in front of anyone."

"Liv. you can cry on front of me. I would never, I could never think less of you. You are so strong, no tears can change that. Letting someone see you cry doesn't change how strong you are. I know you're Lieutenant Olivia Benson, but you are also Olivia Benson, Liv, there are so many sides to you, you are more than a cop, It's ok to admit when things get to you."

"People see Olivia Benson, the cop, and they assume they know everything about me. People think because I'm tough, I have no feelings or because I work in sex crimes I'm easy or cold. I love my job. I'm good at it. I try to help people, but being in this unit, doing what I do doesn't turn me on."

"Liv, I know that! "

"So many people see Lieutenant Benson, I don't let many see Olivia."

"I've noticed." Bara said suddenly feeling honored.

"Don't worry about the judgments of people who don't know you.."

"I usually don't" She answered softly.

"But?"

"Sometimes... every once in awhile this work gets to me. Nicole got to me Barba, I couldn't say anything to defend myself because she's a victim, a big part of my job is to be there for her, to support her." If she were a perp, I would have acted differently."

"I know, I've seen you in interrogation."

Olivia smiled at her friend. "It would have been easier for me if Nicole was a perp."

"Liv", growing up some people thought I would amount to nothing. They thought If I was lucky I'd sell drugs on a street corner. I was a petty poor kid in a rough neighborhood without a good male role model. I have a wonderful mother, but she worked all the time in a field that doesn't pay much. A lot of her salary went to paying the Catholic school I attended. She makes more money now than she ever did when I was a kid. I told you before I was never an athlete. I proved these people wrong Liv, I didn't care what they thought. I worked hard and got into Harvard Law School based on my hard work and brains. My mother raised me well, I cared what she thought because she knew me, and was in my corner. She still is."

"Don't forget you finished first in your class counselor."

"Oh, I never do. My point is, don't let the negative judgments of strangers get to you, and if you feel that happening call me."

"You'll give me a pep talk?" Olivia said laughing.

"Yes, you're too hard on yourself Liv."

"You're a wise man Barba, and for the record in no universe would you have ended up selling drugs. I know you, you always find a way to beat the odds. The more difficult the odds the harder you work, and no matter what that would never change. That will never change."

"Thank-you, that means a lot coming from you Liv. I think we're a lot alike." Olivia smiled, and there was a long moment of silence before Barba spoke again. Did I make you feel any better?"

"Yes," She answered.

"Anything else bothering you, you want to talk about?"

"Yes, but it deals with Nicole's case, and I'm so tied my eyes are closing. Can we save it for another sidebar?"

"Only if that sidebar is very soon."

"You've got a deal Barba." Olivia said, getting up from her dinning chair. Barba followed.

"I should go, and let you get some sleep. You want me to clean up?"

"No, I'm just going to throw everything into a garbage bag." Olivia answered She followed her friend to the front door. In truth Barba hated to go, he needed the sidebar as much as she did. It helped, and he didn't want it to end. Lucky for him Olivia agreed to another one very soon. He wanted to schedule another one right now.

"Thank-you for coming to me tonight, Noah's sleeping and I have to keep an extra eye on him, so there was no way I could have met you anywhere tonight." Olivia unlocked the door, and opened it, so that her friend could exit.

Barba smiled. "Thank-you for inviting me here." She stood inches from him, he hugged her, and quickly kissed both of her cheeks before walking into the hallway outside her apartment.

"Barba,, I like to know that people got home safe. Can you do me another favor? Can you call my cell phone when you get home?".

"I will. Liv, that's not a favor."

"It will make me feel better, I don't want to worry all night, I'm already worrying about Noah all night."

"I will call Liv, I just don't see it as a favor."


	7. Chapter 7

Rafael called Olivia as soon as he got to his apartment just as he said he would. Once Olivia knew he was safe, she said good night, and quickly fell asleep in the rocking chair beside her son's little bed. She was sleeping no more than ten minuets when she was awoken by a crying Noah. She quickly picked him up. Panic ran through her body. Noah felt so hot, she dreaded looking at a thermometer. She ran to the bathtub, turned the water all the way to cold, took Noah's pajamas off, and found a rash on his legs that hadn't been there before. She gently, and quickly placed him in the cold water. Her heart broke when she heard him scream. "It's ok, sweet boy." She found her cell phone in the pocket of her jeans and dialed. The phone rang twice before it was picked up.

"Hello." Said a man who surprisingly sounded wide awake.

"Dr. Taylor, this is Olivia Benson. Noah is burning up!" She said quickly, her voice cracking.

"Olivia, I have medical staff pillages at Mercy hospital. I'll meet you there."

"I'm going now!" Olivia said. She grabbed a washcloth, dipped it, in the cold water, and ran the cloth over Noah's body to cool it down. She picked him up, coved him with a light blanket, and ran out the door. She hailed a cab, and one quickly stopped. She got in holding a crying Noah tightly. Tonight, she wished she had her car. It was parked in a garage, because parking in New York City was near impossible. "Mercy Hospital, fast, please!" She said to the cab driver.

Suddenly the cab was moving. Her mind was racing, she was terrified. She had one clear thought now as the cab raced toward the hospital. She wanted to call Barba. She wanted him with her, he had a way of keeping her calm. When she questioned her parenting she often went to Barba for reassure and advice. He had no children, but his advice was always good. She was raising a boy without a father, she wished she could find a book with all the answers, but there was no such book. The first time Barba held Noah, he looked so nervous, but he got the hang of it. It was too late, Baba was sleeping she couldn't wake him. It was 3A.M. Her eyes stung from tears she refused to let fall. The cab stopped at the hospital. She paid the driver, and ran into the building.

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Olivia sat alone in the hospital waiting room. As soon as doctors saw little Noah, they sprang into action. A nurse with graying hair took Noah from Olivia's arms, and disappeared with him behind a pair of double doors. Dr. Taylor told Olivia to stay where she was, and then he disappeared behind the same double doors. Olivia was graceful she had fallen asleep in her clothes and next to Noah's bed. What if she hadn't been next to Noah's bed? How long would it have taken her to notice his very high fever? She lanced her hands together tightly, and bit her lip to keep the tears from falling. She stared at the clock on the wall across from her. It read 5A.M. She took out her cell phone, and found Barba's number. Raffa was just a phone call away, she saw his number, and stared at it for a long moment. What could Barba do? He could sit in the waiting room, but what good would that do him? Why should they both suffer this unbearable worry. She knew he would pull her into his embrace, in a way only he could. She knew if he did that, she would break down. She visualized herself falling. He would have to pick her up off the floor. She had to be strong., She turned her phone off, stood up, placed the phone in her pocket, and began to pace the waiting room floor back and forth.

"Olivia." Olivia jumped at the sound of her name. Dr. Taylor was standing there. "Olivia, Noah's out of the woods. His body is just fighting infection, that's what fevers are for."

"He's out of the woods. I didn't know it was that bad, I was just being careful."

"It's a good thing you were. When you got him here, his temperature was almost 105."

"105!"Olivia exclaimed. She watched Dr. Taylor nod his head.

"Did you give him s cold bath?"

"Yes, when I was on the phone with you, I had him in cold water."

"Good, I'm sure that helped, because his fever was so high, I want to keep him here until Monday."

"You're sure he's.. he's out of the woods?" She said fighting back tears. "What's his temperature now? Can I see him? I need to see my son. I need to see my son now."

"Slow down, Olivia." Dr. Taylor said. softly. "Noah's temperature is down now to 102. He should be fine. You can see him in about fifteen minutes."

"You said he's out of the woods." Olivia replied, her voice shaking. Why can't I see him now?"

"The nurses will be done in about fifteen minutes." Dr. Taylor stepped a little closer to her. "As a doctor I don't like to make promises, but as a human being I can tell you with confidence Noah's going to be fine. He still has an ear infection, and I just found strep."

"Strep! When... when I put him in the water I saw a rash. Is that because of strep?"

"A rash can be a sign of strep, but he's getting better. He needs some sleep. Olivia, relax for a few minutes while the nurses are finishing up."

Olivia let out a sigh filled with exhaustion. No matter what Dr. Taylor said, she would not escape her suffocating worry until she saw Noah healthy. "Thank-you Dr. Taylor. Thank-you for helping my son." She chocked out.

"It's what I do." He answered, placing a hand on her arm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I was very little I had a fever of 105, it went down quickly after a cold bath, and my relatives did not have to take me to the hospital, because it went right down.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will start writing and posting the sequel to Not Everything Done In The Dark is Shameful when this story is finished! I did not forget!

Rafael Barba entered the almost empty squad room much later than usual. It was Monday at exactly 8PM. Over the weekend, he called Olivia four times. Olivia picked up twice each time sounding upset, but he had no idea why. She told him she was not upset with him, both calls were less than five minutes. It was very noisy in the background. On Sunday afternoon he went to check on Olivia and Noah, but they weren't home. On Sunday night at 8:30, Rafael got a text from Olivia.

Raffa,

I'm sorry we haven't talked much since Friday. I'm fine. I thought I would sit in the gallery of the courtroom Monday afternoon, but I can't. Don't worry I'll send Rollins. Talk to you soon, Sleep well Raffa.

Barba saw Rollins and Carisi get up from their desks at the same time. He could tell that they were ready to go home. He quickly walked up to them. "Rollins Carisi Where's Liv? What's going on?"

"Liv's here," Rollins answered quickly. "She's in her office. She didn't make it to court this afternoon, because Noah didn't make it out of the hospital until 4."

"Wait. Noah was in the hospital?" Barba's green eyes filled with a mixture of worry for Noah and hurt because Olivia didn't tell him about this hospital visit.

"Yeah" Rollins answered. "He was in from early Saturday morning to this afternoon."

"She didn't say anything about it until this morning, when she called Fin to let him know she was running late today." Carisi said, noticing the distressed look on Barba's face. Barba quickly walked toward Olivia's office.

"Good night." Rollins called as she and Carisi left the station.

Barba reached Olivia's closed office door, and knocked. "Liv, open the door please."

Quickly, the door opened, and Barba was face to face with a surprised Olivia. Her beautiful brown eyes went wide at the sight of him. "Barba what are you doing here at this hour?" He silently walked into her office, and she stepped back to give him and herself more space. She didn't close the door. She knew at this point they were the only two people in the building.

"Noah was in the hospital? Why didn't you tell me?" Olivia felt caught off guard, Barba sounded hurt and disappointed. He used that same tone when he had discovered she was dating Ed Tucker, only then his words were "When were you gonna to tell me?" Soon after that her relationship with Tucker ended.

"I didn't want to worry you."

"I see, so you were going to keep this bit of information to yourself."

"I was going to tell you."

"When?"

"When things were settled." Olivia sighed before speaking again. "I didn't want to worry you."

"You didn't want to worry me? Well I got l news for you,I was worried for days. I'm still worried Liv."

"I'm sorry." She said. Rafael nodded, and she was suddenly filled with relief. She also knew this conversation was not over. "Who told you? Rollins? Carisi?"

"Both of them. It doesn't matter, you should have told me. I knew you were upset. What happened to Noah?"

"After you called to let me know you got home, I fell asleep, I was asleep no more than ten minutes when he started crying. I picked him up, and he was burning up, I put him in a cold bath, called the doctor, and rushed to the hospital. When we got there, his fever was almost 105. All I could do was wait."

"So you waited in the hospital all by yourself." He said gently "Liv, you should have called me. I would have waited with you. I could've been there for you."

"I didn't want to worry you." She repeated.

"Please, don't give me that."

"Barba, there was nothing you could have done. Why should we both worry. I was worried enough for the both of us."

Barba rolled his eyes. "You shouldn't have been alone Liv, and you didn't have to be."

"This situation was much too big for a sidebar. Don't you think?"

"No!" he answered quickly, "That's the point of the sidebar Liv." That's why I suggested having more of them, more often. We work well together, but we don't need a work related emergency to socialize. I'm not just someone you work with. You're not just someone I work with."

"I know", there was a long pause before she spoke again. "The truth is" She said slowly. "You're one of my favorite people Rafael Barba." He was stunned, overjoyed, and so honored by her words. He pictured her waiting for a doctor to tell her the condition of her beloved son, and his heart broke. He pictured her pacing, her heart gripped with overwhelming fear. This incredible woman standing inches from him, who was there for everyone else thought she had to endure everything in life alone.

"Liv", he said "Never try to spare me again. You have no idea how much I worry when you stop talking. Liv, please don't ever stop talking to me,"

"I wanted you there. I almost called you, I had to turn my phone off to stop myself. It was late, I honestly didn't want to bother you, I didn't want you to worry like I was. I was so scared, he was so hot. Dr. Taylor found strep. He came out to the waiting room to tell me Noah was going to be fine, but he wanted to keep an eye on him. I had to wait at least another fifteen minutes before I was able to see him, and when I did, he was so pale." Her voice cracked. "I could have lost him Raffa, I could have lost my son." The tears Olivia Benson had been fighting so hard burst out.

Rafael threw his arms around her, and pulled her close to him. Her body shook, as she sobbed. He heard her take a deep breath. Her cries became quiet, she was trying to stop her tears. "It's ok, Liv, let it out. let it all out. You've been holding them back way too long. You don't have to stop until you're ready. I'm here." Olivia's sobs became louder. He held her tightly, She was sure if he wasn't there, the force of her cries would make her fall to the ground. She felt him move, but he wasn't moving away. He was rocking her, almost dancing with her. "Don't hold back your tears for me Liv." He whispered. Rafael Barba had more questions for his best friend, he always did, but right now those questions could wait. Right now, she needed him to hold her up while her tears flowed.


	9. Chapter 9

Rafael Barba stood in judge Donnelly's courtroom. This trial had been going on for the past week. He had been working on this case for months, and in a few moments it would be in the hands of the jury. He knew soon, he would be fidgeting and wanting to bite his nails. He hated waiting for juries to come back. He loved it when Olivia would sit and wait with him, it made it much more bearable. Today, Olivia was sitting in the courtroom. He couldn't lose this case. Mia Costa walked into her apartment pushing a stroller with her one year old twains inside when Gary Tillis pushed his way inside, and brutally , beat and raped her. Mia's husband came home from work to find his babies crying, and his wife knocked out on the floor. He called 911 as soon as he could, and thankfully Mia was alive. The photos of her injuries kept Barba up at night. How could a human being do that to another? Gary Tillis should pay for his crimes, and if he didn't, Barba would feel not only that he let the victim and her family down, but also the people of New York, and Olivia. 

 

Barba could feel Olivia's eyes on him, and it comforted him. If he wasn't in court right now he would smile. On Monday night the strong and powerful Olivia Benson cried in his arms as he held her up. He was honored that she didn't run to an empty room to breakdown alone. When her tears stopped he sat with her, and they shared a cab. He made sure she got home, and called her a half an hour later to be sure she was all right, and to say good night. Since then they shared a cab after work everyday, and Barba loved this new habit. He wondered how she felt about it, at some point he knew he would find out. The recent cab rides they shared were mostly silent. Barba guessed Olivia was embarrassed about crying in front of him, and didn't want to discuss it. If she didn't say something soon he would. "The people rest your honor.' Barba said addressing judge Donnelly. The judge instructed the jury and sent them to the jury room to deliberate. Barba waited a moment, and looked behind him. Olivia was no longer in her seat, she was walking quickly out of the courtroom. He followed, he was only a few paces behind her. He watched as she dilled her cell phone. She spoke quickly, hang up. placed her phone in her pocket, and continued walking outside. She almost ran down the courthouse steps. Barba was happy when she stopped moving, it gave him an opportunity to catch up "You Ok?" Barba asked when he was off the courthouse steps. He walked closer to her, so he could look into her eyes.

 

"Yeah, I just got off the phone with Mia. She just couldn't show up today."

 

"It's Ok Liv. She already testified."

 

"She can't wait for this to be over. It's been rough counselor. You want to talk about it?" Olivia's eyes filled with sudden concern for Barba. 

 

"Not now. I'll let you know when I start to get nervous about it."

 

Olivia nodded. "I'll be here, but don't be nervous Barba, You did great."

 

"Liv, you know me. I get nervous about every case, it just didn't catch up with me yet, I hate waiting for juries."

 

"I know so do I." Olivia moved a few inches away from Barba and laced her hands together. 

 

Barba could tell she was nervous. "You want to talk about something else? I'm up for it."

 

"No, no. Now's not the time. It can wait."

 

"Liv there is nothing we can do about the case now. It's getting late. Why don't we grab a cab, and talk. We can go wherever you want."

 

Olivia smiled and looked down at her hands. I'd ask you to walk with me to get a cup of coffee, but that seems like a waste of money since you brought me perfectly good coffee days ago."

 

"Did you try it yet?"

 

"No, I was waiting." Olivia replied.

 

Barba smiled at her, pleased by her words. "You want to check on Noah. I want to check on Noah. Let's do that, and then we'll sit down, and have some of that coffee."

 

"You don't mind?"

 

"Liv, why would I mind?"

 

"If you don't mind, let's go." The two of them walked side by side for a few blocks before they hailed a cab. In the cab Olivia was silent, and again she laced her hands together tightly.

 

"Liv", Barba said gently. "Relax." She gave him a quick smile, and kept her hands laced together.

 

 

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"Sweet boy, mommy's home." Olivia called as she walked in the door with Barba. Lucy got up from the sofa holding Noah. She walked over to Olivia and handed Noah over. "Any problems today Lucy?"

 

"No, Noah's been fine. He had his dinner and bath. He was just waiting for his mommy to come home, and put him to bed." Lucy answered.

 

"Thanks for your help Lucy Anything I can do for you?"

 

"No thanks Liv. I gotta go. I have a date in about an hour." Lucy smiled at Barba who was standing next to Olivia. "Good to see you here. Mr. Barba."

 

"Barba smiled back. Have a good time Lucy. Be safe."

 

"Thanks" I have my pepper spray, and Liv taught me a mean right hook."

 

"I'm sure she did." Barba said laughing.

 

"Have fun Lucy," Olivia said. walking toward Noah's bedroom

 

"Hey, may I hold him for a sec" Barba asked. Olivia stopped walking, a look of surprise on her face. She handed her son over to her friend.

 

"Hey Amigo, you ok? Barba found himself hugging Noah, and the toddler laughed. Barba laughed too, and waited a brief moment before handing Noah back to Olivia's outstretched arms. She quickly disappeared into Noah's room. 

 

"I'll call you when I get home" Lucy yelled. "Liv always worries about everyone." Lucy said to Barba. softly.

 

"I know that Lucy."

 

"She doesn't have to worry about me with Roberto,"

 

"I take it this is not a first date?" Barba asked raising an eyebrow.

 

"No I've been dating him almost a year." Lucy whispered. "Liv needs someone to worry about her sometimes, to care, and to show it. She hasn't been sleeping much since Noah went into the hospital, and even before that she had been sleeping in that rocking chair next to his bed." At that moment Olivia ran out of Noah's room and grabbed Eddie, the elephant off the sofa, and then she disappeared into Noah's room again. "Noah can't go to sleep without seeing Eddie." Lucy continued. "You brought Eddie for Noah? She asked already knowing the answer

 

"Yes"

 

"He's been holding it everyday, almost all day since Liv handed it to him." Lucy smiled at him and left the apartment.

 

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Barba walked into Olivia's kitchen, knowing exactly where she put the coffee he gave her. Within moments the smell of coffee permeated the apartment. Barba heard a door softly close, then footsteps. He heard a door open, close, and open again. He heard footsteps again, and suddenly he saw Olivia standing in her living room, and very close to her very small kitchen area. She looked so beautiful, and so tired. She wore a chocolate brown spaghetti strap dress. It looked soft and comfortable, but considering the long day she had, and how tired she looked, the dress didn't look comfortable enough. He watched as she took a deep breath in. "That smells so good." She said.

 

"I'm glad you like it, wait until you taste it. Remind me next time to get you some decaf."

 

"No way Barba!"

 

"You need to sleep, maybe I'll give you a small cup, so you can taste it, and still be able l sleep."

 

"No, I need to stay up in case Noah needs me." Barba moved to a small cabinet, and took down two coffee cups. He was glad he found the right cabinet without having to ask. The coffee was ready, and he careful poured some into each cup, Olivia walked over to the sofa in her living room, and Barba followed carrying the two cups in his hand. He watched as Olivia sat down on the sofa. He placed one cup on the coffee table in front of her. He took a sip of his coffee, sat down next to his friend, and placed his cup down on the coffee table in front of him. He watched as Olivia took her first sip, 

 

"You like it?" Barba asked turning his body to see her reaction.

 

"I'm in love. This is the best cup of coffee I had in a long time." He was happy she enjoyed the coffee, but he wished at that moment she was talking about him and not the coffee. "You gave yourself more coffee than you gave me. She continued, noticing the cup Barba poured for himself.

 

"Yes, I did You need to sleep sometime tonight." 

 

"You don't?"

 

"Liv, if I'm tired, I can drink four more cups of this stuff, and still sleep, It has no affect on me." He watched her take five more sips, and the coffee was gone. 'What's on your mind Lieutenant Olivia Benson?" Olivia looked down at her hands and laughed. Was she blushing? She looked up and met Barba's eyes. 

 

"Counselor." She answered "I wanted to say I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for what you saw the other night. I'm sorry for the way I acted."

 

"Liv, stop." He tried to interrupt, but she talked over him. The only times Olivia ever talked over him was when she was apologizing for something she didn't need to.

 

"You didn't come to my office to see that. I shouldn't have done that in front of you!"

 

"Lieutenant stop now!" He said excitedly yet gently, She stared into his eyes and there was a softness in them. "Liv, I came to the station to check on you, to make sure you were ok. By the time I got to your office I knew Noah spent time in the hospital, and you didn't tell me about it, not even when I called you. Liv, I was there to comfort you. I'm glad I was there, that was the point. You're sorry for letting down your shield? Don't you dare be sorry for doing that in front of me. I know you're a tough as nails cop, but you are more then that. I'm glad I know that, and I'm so glad I see that. I meant what I said, don't spare me Liv. I'm always here for you."

 

"I hope you know I'm here for you Barba."

 

"Always." He saw her smile and his heart filled with relief.

 

"Thank-you counselor." She said careful to make sure her voice didn't crack. Barba looked into her soulful eyes. They were almost closing, and he was so tempted to suggest she change into something more comfortable. He was so tempted to gently guild her to bed to have a much needed sleep.


	10. Chapter 10

Rafael Barba gazed at Olivia Benson. She was wearing blue jeans, and her olive green crewneck shirt. He stood in front her. He leaned in, and kissed both cheeks. Suddenly, he found himself capturing her lips, in this moment there was no fear or hesitation, and his heart filled with joy. I love you, Olivia, more than you can ever know. He thought to himself.

 

"Barba, Barba" Olivia called. Rafael's eyes opened at the sound of his name. He found himself sitting with his head on his desk. He wondered how long he had been sleeping. He knew it couldn't have been that long. He took his head off the wooden desk in his office. He dropped the pen he had been clutching to his desk. He rubbed his eyes, and soon he was able to focus them on her. She was wearing one of his favorite dresses. It was red, sleeveless, and he never saw her wear a blazer with it. like she did with most work outfits. In truth this woman looked breathtaking in anything she put on. He didn't care if she wore a paper bag. "You're going to hurt your neck sleeping like that. Stop, at least sleep on your couch." He smiled, her concern warmed his heart. He put his right hand on the back of his neck. It was already getting stiff. He got up, and walked to the couch. She followed and sat next to him, but quickly jumped up.

 

"What are you doing?"

 

"You need to lie down and stretch out. I can stand."

 

"Liv, Sienatate conmigo por favor", sit down with me please. Olivia stared at him for a moment. She heard him use Spanish with a Victim's mother as a way to connect and show empathy, but that was very rare. It was Olivia's impression that for the most part he only used the Spanish language with those closest to him. "Olivia Por favor." He said breaking the silence in the room. He knew she understood the language. She sat down next to him. "What brings you here?"

 

"I wanted to check on you. I thought by now you would be worried about the verdict."

 

"I didn't think it would take this long. This case is so clear cut. Mia was raped by a stranger, he forced his way in. She wasn't unfaithful to her husband. He hurt her! I showed the jury these photos" Olivia crossed her arms over her chest, she wished now she wore a blazer. she touched her arms.

 

"I know." She said gently.

 

Rafael turned his body on the couch so that he could look deeply into her brown eyes. "He almost killed her!"

 

"I know, and you made the jury see that Raffa." 

 

"Did I?"

 

"Yes!"

 

"What's taking them so long?"

 

"You know juries are unpredictable." Rafael sighed loudly. At that moment Olivia wanted to reach for her friend and wrap her arms around him, She hated to see him beat himself up "You did your job, and you did it well. "Tillis is going to prison Raffa. I'm sure the jury sees him for who he is." She placed her right hand on his shoulder. 

 

"Everybody knows he did it Liv, but you and I both know that doesn't mean he won't get off. I can't get those photos out of my head. Tillis brutalized her."

 

"I know Raffa. She survived that's what counts, her physical injuries will heal, and she was able to face him in court and tell her story. She will heal and when she does she will be stronger. You did your best, you need to know that."

 

"Sometimes my best isn't good enough! You know that! Every time I close my eyes I see what he did, I see all the pain he inflicted!" It could have been prevented!"

 

"Raffa are you talking about Tillis or Lewis?"

 

"It doesn't matter." Olivia quickly got up from the couch.

 

"It matters to me." Her voice dropped to a compassionate whisper. "Are you talking about Lewis?" She looked deeply into his green eyes, he looked so wounded. His eyes pleaded for her to sit back down with him.

 

"That piece of garbage, that horrible excuse for a man should never have been given the opportunity to do those vile things to you! I let him get away, my best was not good enough, and you paid for it!"

 

"I said a lot of things to Lewis in order to stay alive, one thing was true. He was not a punk. He was frighteningly smart. He was an evil genius. You think if he hadn't gotten away that time, he wouldn't have conned his way out to get to me?"

 

"I should have stopped him. He wouldn't have been able to hurt you or anyone else."

 

"I see and is it your fault that once you got him put away, he escaped, rapped a young teenage girl, kidnapped her little sister as a way to lore me to him, tried again to rape me, and had me place a gun to my head to save that little girl's life?"

 

"I'm sorry Liv. You will never no how sorry I am, for all of it." 

 

He hung his head, and covered his face with his hands.

 

"Rafael. He heard her say. He didn't answer, he had no words. "Raffa, look at me, please." He picked up his head, and uncovered his face. When she called him Raffa he had no choice but to respond, and he was sure she knew that. He found himself staring into her beautiful l brown eyes. They were full of pain and worry for him. and she was sitting right beside him. He was her Raffa, and she had no clue how much she touched his life. "Raffa what Lewis did is not your fault! It's his and only his! Look at me Raffa." She placed her hands on his shoulders. "I'm right here. Lewis is dead! I survived. I'm alive!." Olivia was shocked at how quickly Rafael Barba pulled her into a hug. His strength surprised her too. He squeezed her tightly and she found herself squeezing back. 

 

"I'm sorry Liv. Those crime scene photos remind me so much..."

 

"Of my photos right after Lewis. I know, I know. I can see that. They look very similar, but I wasn't raped like Mia. I got away, and Tillis is not Lewis. This is a separate case, remember that. You have nothing to be sorry for. Raffa, I had no idea you were still carrying this."

 

How could I not?" He answered, his voice cracking. He tightened his grip on her.

 

"Let it go Raffa. It's Ok. I'm OK." She said softly. He felt her hands rubbing his back. He had no idea how long they had been sitting there, but he knew he wanted so badly to stay wrapped in this embrace. He was just about to close his eyes when he felt her jump up. "Benson" she said quickly into her cell phone. 

 

Less than a second later his cell rang. "Barba. I'll be right there. Thanks." He hung up and looked at his closest friend. She was off the phone. "The verdict is in. He announced. "You coming with me?"

 

"Let's go." Olivia answered.

 

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Olivia Benson sat with Mia and her husband in the gallery of the courtroom. She quickly glanced Barba's way before she head Judge Donnelly voice. "On the charge of rape in the first degree how does the jury find?"

 

The foreman was wearing a gray suit. We find the defendant "Guilty."

 

On the charge of assault in the first degree how does the jury find?" Donnelly asked.

 

"We find the defendant guilty.

 

"Did I just hear that? Mia asked moments later when court was adjourned. Tears streamed down her face, after a few seconds she wiped them away.

 

"Yes, Mia. He was found guilty." Olivia confirmed.

 

"He won't, he can't hurt me anymore." Mia said.

 

"No, he can't hurt you anymore. Rafael said walking toward her.

 

"He can't hurt us anymore." Mia said turning to her husband who gently and carefully wrapped his arms around her. Mr. Barba, thank-you, thank-you so much. Mia said looking at him, and still holding on to her husband like her life depended on it. Barba smiled at the couple.

 

"Mr. Barba", Mia's husband said," I don't know how I could ever thank-you. If you ever need anything, let me know. I can never repay you."

 

"You never have to repay me, I was doing my job. Barba answered.

 

"ADA Barba always does his best, and there nobody better." Olivia said. She was now standing next to him.

 

"You, you, you are the reason my husband has a wife. Olivia, you are the reason my twins still have their mother. You saved my life. I couldn't have gotten through this process without you. I can never thank you enough. You're amazing."

 

"Keep going to counseling. You have my number Mia, and there's no need to thank me. It's my job to protect, and to see to it people have a voice. You have a voice Mia. You got justice. Take care of yourself, and your family." 

 

Mia smiled at her and Barba weakly. 

 

"Let's go home." Mia said to her husband. Olivia Benson, and Rafael Barba watched as the couple exited the courtroom.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :   
> Eclalant in French = dazzling

A light rain fell onto Olivia's Safire blue dress, as she quickly ran into Eclatant, a fancy French restaurant that had been in The City longer than she had been alive, but that she had never tried. It was a Saturday night in April. She had thought she was going to have a nice simple day off at home with Noah, but her days were never simple. She was called to yet another crime scene, yet another rape-murder case. Again. she wished crime could take a vacation, maybe then she could too. She was so tired. "Ah Olivia you look ravishing! I wasn't sure you were coming." Dr. Taylor said as he walked toward her. The blonde haired. brown eyed man looked taller in formal wear, Olivia thought to herself.

Olivia smiled. "If I wasn't coming I would call."

"It's good to know you wouldn't leave me hanging." He answered taking her right arm and leading her to a table for two. He pulled out a chair for her, before taking a seat across from her.

"No I wouldn't do that. I'm sorry I'm late. Dr. Taylor thank-you again for your help with Noah."

"Brad please call me Brad Olivia."

"Brad", she said with a smile. "Have you eaten here before?" Olivia asked picking up the menu and reading.

"Yes, many times."

"It's pricy." Olivia said, as she continued to read.

"It is, but don't worry about it." Olivia decided what she wanted, but she didn't know what to say to this man, so she kept staring at the menu. "Do you know what you want?"

"Yes." She replied.

"Good, so do I." Dr. Taylor said waving over a waiter.

"What can I get you?" The waiter asked looking at Olivia first.

"I'll take the French Onion soup, please, thank-you."

The waiter smiled at her and turned his head to Dr. Taylor. "And you sir?"

"The Duck al'' orange, thank-you." Olivia placed her menu down in front of her, and watched as the waiter took it away along with Dr. Taylor's menu. He then walked away from the table toward the kitchen.

"How was your day?"

"Stressful, Olivia answered. "I was hoping to have the entire day off."

"But you got called into work." That's why you were late?"

"Yes, sometimes I feel like I'm always running late."

"I understand, I've been there. In fact I was almost late tonight. I had another high fever to take care of."

"Is the kid Ok?"

"He'll be Ok."

"I'm glad. You still coving for Dr. Lee? She always calls to check on Noah after any kind of illness. I thought she would be back by now."

"I'm covering for her until she gets back from her honeymoon which she decided to extend."

"Oh I didn't know she was getting married. Good for her."

"Good for her she finally got a vacation or good for her she got married? Dr. Taylor asked.

"Both." Olivia answered, making sure her voice and face didn't give any of her thoughts away.

"So Olivia, what's your story?"

"I don't have much of one, I'm pretty boring."

"I don't believe that."

"Believe it. I'm just a mom and I have worked for the NYPD forever."

"I'm sure you have a ton of stories," I'm sure you are a fascinating woman Olivia."

"Not really, and most of the stories I have to tell are work-related.

"Where are you from?" He asked.

"I've been in this City my whole life?"

"You never lived outside Manhattan?"

"No." Would you excuse me?" Olivia asked getting up I need to check in with my sitter.

"Good idea, it's best to do that before the food comes.

Olivia grabbed her phone and walked quickly to the ladies room. She dialed the phone and a minute later she was speaking. "Hey Lucy. Everything Ok? Good. I'll make sure I'm not too long. Have fun writing your paper." She hang up the phone. She looked at herself in the mirror for a few seconds. She wanted to be home. She put her hand in front of her face as she quietly yawned. Then she turned on the sink, and splashed some cold water on her face to wake herself up.

"Everything alright?" Dr. Taylor asked when Olivia returned to the table.

"Everything's fine." Olivia sat down.

"Good" I'm glad. I'm sure you have your own story Olivia. Everybody does."

"I'm really very boring." Olivia watched as the food arrived. The waiter gave Dr. Taylor his duck dish. He gave Olivia her soup, and walked away, "What's your story Brad?"

"I'm from Boston. My parents are still alive and married. I went to Harvard Medical School. Being a Dr. is a tradition in my family. I wanted to make my parents proud, and make a difference, save lives. I'm sure you understand that. Olivia listened and ate her soup quickly. She often had to eat quickly, due to the nature of her job. The few people she let in knew that she hated eating quickly, and savored those rare moments she could eat calmly and slowly. She saw the waiter approach as she finished her soup. He took it away, and a few moments later he was back placing another plate in front of her.

"What's this?"

"One of our best dishes? Enjoy!" The waiter said.

"I only ordered the soup."

"Enjoy." The waiter said again with a smile. He walked away quickly.

"That is a fantastic dish." I told you, Olivia don't worry about price."

"That's not it. I didn't order this."

"Why did you only order soup?"

"It's expensive, and I don't have experience with French food."

"Well now is your chance."

Olivia looked down at the plate of food, and because everything in this place was a small fortune,she took her fork and put some food in her month. It was difficult to get down. She forced herself to swallow, and fought the urge to flood her mouth with water. She needed coffee, and the stronger the coffee the better. "What is this?" She choked out.

"Goose liver otherwise known as Foie gras. It can also be made of duck liver."

Olivia took a huge sip of water. "Brad I'm so full." She wasn't. The bowl of soup was so tiny, she skipped lunch, and she had just sat down with Noah for breakfast when her phone rang.

"That's fine." Dr. Taylor said, smiling.

"You can finish it if you want."

"Thank-you." He reached for the plate. "I'm glad you were able to try it." Olivia listened to Brad talk for the next hour while he finished the plate of food. "I'm so glad you joined me tonight. The last time I called, I wasn't sure you would pick up. I'm happy you did Olivia. I guess I caught you at a rare moment when you weren't working or with your son."

"I was waiting for a verdict to come in when you called."

"Good verdict?"

Olivia smiled at him. "Yes, justice was served. It's always good to see that."

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It was 11:30 at night when Olivia got home. Lucy was just finishing her paper. Olivia looked into Noah's room. The little boy was fast asleep and clutching Eddie. She closed the door softly. "Bye Liv!". Lucy called.

"Be safe Lucy!" Olivia answered. She was sure Lucy wanted to meet the man whose photo was on her phone, and had been for the past week.

"I will!" Lucy answered closing the door behind her. As soon as Olivia heard the click of the door, she ran to lock it. She went into her bedroom to grab an oversized white T-shirt. Her bed was calling to her, but so was her stomach, and it was louder. She walked into her kitchen, found the peanut butter, and a spoon, and ran to her sofa. She sat down and grabbed her remote. At that moment her cell phone rang. She throw the remote down next to her on the sofa. "Benson. She answered.

"Hey, you Ok?"

"Yeah, are you?" She asked her friend Rafael Barba.

"Yeah, I called your land line about 9, I thought by then you would have put Noah to bed."

"Did you need something?"

"No, I knew you were off today, and when you didn't answer the phone, I started to worry." Lewis held Olivia for days before anyone knew she was in trouble. "I'm fine Raffa", Olivia said Her heart filled with sadness for him, because he blamed himself for the hell she endured. Her heart also filled with apparition for her friend who wanted to make sure that never happened again.

"I'm Ok. I got called to a crime scene this morning, so I have another case for you, and I had plans tonight."

"What are you doing now? Barba asked trying to sound light hearted,

"I'm about to watch some TV, and eat some peanut butter."

"I'll watch with you. Why are you eating peanut butter at this hour? Did you eat dinner tonight?"

"I attempted to."

"But you're staving?"

"Starving."

"The food was that bad huh?"

"The question is can I call it food?"

"Another question is how can you just eat peanut butter?"

"It's healthy, and I'm saving the jelly for Noah. Barba chuckled. Olivia placed the peanut butter and spoon on her coffee table while she flipped through channels. "Put on channel 7. Olivia said to Barba noticing that the movie He's Just Not That Into was starting. It was on her list of movies to watch since it came out, but she never had the time. She put the spoon into the peanut butter jar, when she had a good amount of peanut butter on the spoon, she took it out, and began to slowly eat. She was happy there was another unopened peanut butter jar in the kitchen for her son.

"Channel 7?" she heard Barba say "Got it!" Olivia heard the smile in his voice, and she wondered what he was thinking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The movie He's Just Not That Into You came out in 2009.


	12. Chapter 12

Olivia heard the microwave beep, and she immediately took out the steaming cup she had been waiting for. She only had about 30 minutes of paperwork left, and then she could go home to her son. It was 9:00 at night, and she was alone. She quickly walked to her office, and sat down at her desk She stirred the hot liquid with a spoon, and was about to take a careful sip. "What is that concoction?" She didn't jump, because she knew that voice. She would know it anywhere. It's instant tomato soup, she said smiling. Barba sat down in a chair across from her.

"Liv, put it down, please." She took a small sip. "What are you doing here at this hour counselor?"

"What do you think?"

"You want to grab a cab with me. I would love nothing more Raffa, I don't want to hold you up. I have at least 30 minutes of paperwork left," She put down the soup.

"I'll wait, and I promise you a real meal." Olivia softly laughed, she picked up her pen and began to write again. "If you insist counselor. What will I do with this soup?"

"You call that soup? It's not fit for human consumption." Barba heard her laugh again, and his heart soared. He loved when she laughed, and he loved it even more when he was the person who made her laugh. Whenever he made her laugh his heart and mind filled with pride. The first time he got a laugh out of her, she looked shocked. Since then making this woman laugh was one of his favorite things to do, and he did it often. The truth she made him laugh like no other could. Before Olivia Benson, his life was orderly, but cold and lonely. Before he met her he never admitted to himself that anything was missing. Now, he knew what was missing. Olivia Benson was the light in his life and the love of his life even if she didn't know it.

"Barba, Barba? The sound of her voice brought him out of his thoughts. "You ready to get out of here?" She was standing and Barba noticed that she had thrown away what she called Tomato soup.

"Let's go", he answered smiling. She smiled back.

"I'm helping with the cab fare this time."

"Don't worry about it Liv." They walked out of her office, and out of the station together.

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Olivia walked beside Barba for several blocks. She was anything , but lazy, but after such a long day even Olivia was getting tired. She watched as Barba slowed down. She was ready to hail a cab. She put an arm up.

"Wait!" Barba said. Olivia put her arm down. She looked at her friend confused.

"Why, you want to walk me home Barba?"

He gave her a half-smile, "No, just follow me. We're almost there."

"I never just follow anyone."

"Make an exception Liv. For me?" He continued to walk, she rolled her eyes, but followed. He led her to a parking garage.

"Does someone need help?" Olivia asked as she walked. Her arms were slowly swaying at her side.

Barba stopped at a red Bentley. He took out a key and opened the passenger door. "I want to drive you home."

"This is your car?" Olivia said, surprise in her voice.

Barba chuckled softly. "Yes, Liv. Get in." She gazed at him for a brief moment more. "Put your seatbelt on." He said when she was in the car. He closed her door, walked to the driver's side, got in, and prepared to drive. He looked Olivia's way, and for a spite second, she looked completely relaxed, a half smile on her face, and her eyes closed. He smiled.

Olivia, opened her eyes feeling Barba staring at her. It's only my imagination she thought, it was such a long day, she felt her stomach rumble. She was thankful she would be eating soon. What food she would be eating she didn't know, she would leave that to him. "Why did you get a car? When did you get a car?"

"I got tired of relaying on cabs, I realized I could afford it, and I have a parking space."

"Now that is luxury, a parking space in New York. You Mr. Rafael Barba have arrived!"

Barba laughed. "I know. "Now that's go eat.

"You need a sidebar Barba?"

"Always Liv."

"Me too."

"Good, I think you're going to love the meal I have planned."

"I have to get home to Noah."

"I know Liv. You don't think I planned for that? Don't worry." Barba answered starting the car and driving off.


	13. Chapter 13

Before driving Olivia home, Rafael made a quick stop at the grocery store. Olivia looked at him confused. "Don't worry" he told her."we won't be here long." She looked so tired, that he continued. "I'll go in myself, I'll be quick I promise." He was.

Now, he gazed at Olivia as he carried one bag of groceries. She looked relived to be home, and when they entered her apartment she smiled. She had offered to carry the large bag, but he refused. The sound of Noah's laugher coming from his room made Olivia laugh. Bara reached the kitchen. placed the bag down, and emptied the contents. "What are you doing?" Olivia asked staring at him, a look of disbelieve on her face.

Barba chucked. "Did you think I was buying this food all for myself. I promised you a good meal, instead of that liquid you call soup. Did you think I was going to suggest a take-out place? From the look on her face he could see that was exactly what she thought. "I'm cooking Liv, I know you're starving. Go see Noah, this will be ready soon."

"What are you planning?"

"You'll see when it's ready."

"OK. I won't be long, if you need me. I just have to put Noah to bed." Olivia ran to Noah's room. Barba heard her speaking to Lucy quickly. He then heard footsteps, he knew were not the footsteps of his best friend.

"Mr. Barba are you cooking for Liv?" Lucy asked standing across from the kitchen area She already knew the answer. "This is nice to see."

"Hello Lucy. You have plans tonight?"

"Yes, I'm meeting Roberto's family tonight." Lucy whispered,

"That's serious,"

"I know, I'm so nervous. He is so family-oriented, I love that about him, I love that in his culture being that way is the norm,but I'm terrified at the same time. He told me he never introduced a girl to his family before. What do you think?"

Barba raised an eyebrow. "Honestly, he wants to marry you."

"I know." Lucy whispered excitedly. When are you going to invite Liv to dinner with your mother?"

Barba smiled and changed the subject. "Why do you whisper about Roberto? I would bet money if I were a betting man that Liv already knows about him."

"I think she does." Lucy whispered. "I better go, I'm going to be so late.. She ran toward Noah's room.

"No, Lucy you don't have to do that." Barba heard Liv say. He heard more whispering and moments later he heard a door close and open again. Again, he saw Lucy running, this time to the front door.

"Have a good night Mr. Barba." Lucy said. as she left the apartment. "I hope to see you here again soon." When she was gone, Barba walked over to the door, locked it quickly, and returned to the stove.

The kitchen was filled with wonderful smells. Barba heard Olivia's voice as the food finished cooking. When it was cooled enough, he called her name. "Liv, the food is ready." He no longer heard her speaking. He walked to Noah's room. He stood in the doorway for a moment. She was asleep beside Noah's little bed. Barba noticed that Olivia had changed her clothes. She was wearing a floral print maroon dress, a dress he had never seen before. He strode quietly to her, and placed a hand gently on her shoulder. "Liv, the food is ready." He said in a low tone, he didn't want to wake Noah. She opened her eyes slowly. "You need to eat something."" He held out a hand to help her up.

"Raffa" she said groggily." I'm sorry, I closed my eyes for a second."

"Don't be sorry." He answered. As she stared at him, he wondered what was going through her mind, he was about to speak again when Olivia grabbed his hand. She looked in the direction of Noah's bed to be sure he was not in distress. She didn't let go of Barba's hand, and he was trilled about that. "He's fine Liv ." She nodded in agreement. He gave her hand a reassuring squeeze, and they walked together to the dinning table. Barba pulled out her chair for her. Then, he picked up a dish and served her. "You're going to love this, I hope. Barba said smiling.

"It smells delicious ." Olivia said. She watched as Barba filled his own plate. When he was done, he sat across from her. "It looks too good to eat."

"Please, eat." Barba replied. "You won't regret it.."

"I feel like I should take a picture of it first." She said laughing.

Barba laughed. "It's Fricasse De Pollo, it's chicken stew."

"I know what Fricasse De Pollo is." She took a mouthful. She swallowed, and then she took another. Barba smiled, happy that she enjoyed his food. "I never had Fricasse De Pollo this good."

"I'm glad." Barba eat his food, and enjoyed seeing Olivia eat hers. Her energy seemed to be returning, sometimes all it took was a good meal. About an hour later she put her fork down, and worry filled her face. Worry filled his heart.

"Thank-you Raffa, that was amazing."

"There's leftovers so you don't have to eat peanut butter if you get hungry later."

"I won't not after a fantastic meal like that."

Barba smiled. "What's wrong Liv?"

"Nothing, you made such a nice dinner. I don't want to ruin it."

"You won't."

"Why do people trust so easily Rafael?" How can a person just look at an online profile, and decide based on that, some stranger is safe to be around, to be alone with?"

"You're thinking about Nicole Price and Victor Glen. We don't know what happened Liv."

"I know something happened." Olivia answered in almost a whisper. "She's traumatized, and not dealing with it. She's lashing out."

"Liv we can't. I can't bring s case against Victor Glen, there isn't enough."

"I know. She hasn't called back yet."

"Liv, maybe something happened. Maybe she was rapped. but maybe Glen didn't do it."

"Raffa do you know what kind of nightmarish people can be found on dating sites?"

"I know Liv, that's one of the many reasons, I never tried it. Have you?"

"Not as Olivia Benson. Undercover countless times. To say the men I found on those sites were control freaks is an understatement." Barba swallowed hard. He didn't want to think of these controlling, violent men anywhere near her. He didn't want her upset, during the meal she seemed so calm.

He got up and went to the fridge. When he came back to the table, he was carrying a container. He poured Olivia a drink from it, then he sat back down, and poured himself one. "I almost forgot the drinks." He said.

Olivia looked at the liquid in her glass, it was a strawberry smoothie. "You brought this for me?"

"It's not s big deal Liv. I didn't think you would want wine tonight, and I know you like Strawberry smoothies."

"Thank-you." She said, taking a long sip. She put the glass down. "After I finish this, you want me to put on a pot of coffee?"

"You need to sleep." Barba said. He watched as Olivia finished her drink. She smiled at him.

"Sleep is overrated. I have too much on my mind. Noah, Mia, Nicole. Thank-you Barba. No one has ever cooked for me, unless I ordered from a restaurant."

"No one?" Barba replied, raising an eyebrow.

"No one. If you ever get tired of law, you can always became a chef. This was the best meal I ever had."

Barba was delighted by her words, and he smiled. "Say the word Liv, and I'll cook for you anytime. You think my food is good, you should taste my mother's."

Olivia laughed. "I'll keep that in mind."

Barba let out a long sigh. "I know it's hard, but you have to trust some people Liv."

"You're one to talk Barba."

"What do you mean?"

"You're a very guarded man."

"Point taken, you're right Liv. I don't trust easily. I do trust you."

I know something happened to Nicole Barba.. My mother used to act like her."

"She used to"lash out?"

"Yeah, at me. All the time. I heard from Mia today. She says her counseling is going well."

"I'm glad."

"Me too." Olivia answered softly.

"Hey." Barba said in an upbeat tone, a moment later. "Noah's Birthday is coming up. Can I help you with a birthday party?"

"What? You want to help me with Noah's birthday?"

"It'll be fun!"

"OK." Olivia said softly." If it isn't too much trouble."

"It's not. Liv, I want to do it. " Suddenly Olivia was staring ahead, she looked a million miles away. Sometimes, Rafael Barba wished he could read Olivia Benson's mind, and this moment was one of these times. "Liv,, are you Ok?"

"What? Yeah I'm fine." You want to watch a movie, unless you need to get home?"

Liv. What do I have to go home to?" I'd love too watch a movie with you."

"Ok, let me just wash these dishes."

"I'll do it Liv."

"No! You cooked."

"I'll help then." Olivia smiled, she got up and began collecting the dishes. Barba hoped the whole process would take the whole night.


	14. Chapter 14

It was 1PM. on a Friday. "Whose in charge here." A woman said walking quickly into The Special Victims Unit. Olivia heard a mixture of nervousness and anger in her voice. A man walked beside her. Olivia walked toward them.

"I'm Lieutenant Olivia Benson. "Can I help you? Do you need to report something?" Olivia asked in her gentle voice, the voice she spoke in when dealing with a new victim, a victim who had not had the time to process what happened to them yet.

"I need to speak to the person who talked to Nicole Price." The woman said quickly, her voice was full of bitterness. Fin got up quickly from his desk and stood behind Olivia in case he was needed Rollins and Carisi followed his action. The angry woman took 2 small steps closer to Olivia, she stood just inches from her face. Olivia quickly took 3 steps back. She put her hands up. "Ok. step back, I know you're upset but getting in my face won't help you." She said as she took another step back.

"You think I'm worried about myself, I'm not!

"What are you worried about?" Olivia asked calmly.

"I need to speak to whoever spoke to Nicole Price."

"I can't talk to you about anything. I can talk to you if you have a crime to report."

"How about I talk to you then?" The woman replied bitterly. "I'm Victoria Glen, Victor Glen's mother. That stupid girl is a liar! My son is not s rapist! Is he being charged?"

"Ms. Glen. Olivia answered, taking another step back. "Your son is an adult, I can't discuss him with you."

"Is he being charged? Victoria screamed.

Fin, Rollins, and Carisi inched closer to Olivia. "Your son's over 18. You have to get your information from him." Fin said. Victoria took a step toward Olivia. "You need to calm down lady." We can't help you." Fin continued. He was starting to get nervous.

Victoria took a step back, and then slowly she took a deep breath. "You can talk to me if I report a crime?" She asked as she stared at Olivia, her voice was now cold, but calm.

"Yes I can." Olivia answered.

"That little girl, that twit is blackmailing me, my husband, my entire family." Victoria answered turning to look at her husband, the man who had walked into the unit beside her. The man looked like he hadn't slept in days.

"How?" Olivia asked calmly.

"Blackmail is illegal. You tell her if she doesn't stop, I'm pressing charges against her. Talk to her Lieutenant . Please, talk to her." Victoria said, her voice cracking. "You can't talk to me about anything, but you can talk to her. Please talk to her. I don't want this to destroy my family. I'm sorry." Victoria turned, and grabbed her husband's hand. She ran into the elevator with him.

"Let's get back to work", Olivia said. She almost ran to her office. She closed the door behind her. She stood by her desk, picked up the phone and dialed quickly. Nicole's voicemail picked up on the 3rd ring. "Nicole it's Olivia Benson. I get that you don't want to talk, but it's very important that you call me back. Something just came up." Olivia left her cell number and hung up the phone, she sat down. She covered her face with her hands for a quick moment, then stared on some paperwork.

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"Is Liv in her office?" Barba asked Rollins and Carisi, as he walked into the squad room at 6:30PM.

"Yeah", they answered in unison, there was something about the tone of their answer that made Barba uneasy. He studied the faces of the couple.

"What? What's the problem?"

Carisi looked at Rollins and she decided she wanted to be the one to answer. "Victor Glen's mother stormed in here this afternoon, she wanted to know who took Nicole's statement. She got in Liv's face. Everything is fine, Liv handled her, and we were here to back her up, if she needed it. Then all of a sudden Mrs. Glen started begging Liv to talk to Nicole. She claimed that Nicole has been blackmailing her family, but she didn't give any details. She just ran out of here." Barba was very worried and his face showed it

. He turned to walk to Olivia's office, at that moment he heard a male voice. "Is there an Olivia Benson here?" Barba whipped his heard around. He saw a man dressed in a delivery uniform, and holding a vase of flowers. "I have a delivery for Olivia Benson." The man continued.

"I'll take it for her. She's busy." Rollins answered walking to the man, and taking the flowers from his hands.

"I need you to sign for them." The man said,

"No problem, give me a sec." Rollins answered, running to her desk to put the flowers down. She walked back to the delivery man, and quickly signed. "Have a nice day, I'll make sure she gets these."

The man smiled. "Have a nice day. "Thanks.". He said taking his clipboard, and leaving the room and the building within moments.

Rollins looked at the 2 dozen roses sitting on her desk in a light brown ceramic vase. 23 of them were red, but the one in the middle of the bouquet was a bright yellow rose. "Good job Barba.. I think you should be the one to bring these to Liv. I do have one question What's with the yellow rose in the middle?" Carisi raised an eyebrow to show that he was curious too. He walked over to Rollins and wrapped his arms around her waist. She laughed and smiled.

"Liv doesn't like real flowers, she hates to watch them die. She loves the smell of gardenias." The couple's eyes filled with sympathy. "You mean these flowers aren't from you?"

"No." Barba answered in a low tone.

"I thought they were. Liv said you just bought a car, maybe I'm off here Barba. but I was thinking you may have done that to make Liv's life a little easier." Rollins replied.

"We know you take cabs together all the time now." Carisi said. Barba didn't say a word. Carisi and Rollins exchanged a quick look. They were reading each other, both of them did not want to push Barba to talk right now, and both knew pushing him would not work.

"If you didn't send them, I wonder who did." Rollins said before she could stop herself.

"Rollins, did Barba get here yet?" Olivia said as she ran into the room, as soon as the words left her mouth she saw him. He smiled his half smile.

Barba chuckled softly. His heart swelled with deep pride. "I'm here "

"I see that, I need to talk to you about a case. You saved me a phone call." Olivia said, in a tone she hoped sounded calm. She was worried that she might be blushing.

"Good, I need to talk to you too." Barba said, as he watched Olivia's eyes wander to the flowers on Amanda's desk.

"Nice flowers Rollins." She glanced at Carisi, "What's with the yellow rose in the middle?"

"They're not mine. You were busy in your office, I didn't want to bother you.."

"They're mine? Who would send me flowers?" Olivia walked over to Amanda's desk to study the roses, She searched for a card, and found one. She took it in her hands and silently read it.

Dear Olivia,

The yellow rose in the middle of this large bouquet reminds me of you, like you this yellow rose stands out. I never met anyone like you, and that's because there is no one like you, there is only one Olivia Benson.

"Who are they from?" Rollins asked excitedly.

Olivia did not want to say, but the name of the flower sender quietly slipped from her lips. "Dr. Taylor." Barba took a deep quiet breath out, there was that name again. Who was Dr. Taylor? ""Rollins you can keep the flowers on your desk. They'll stay alive longer with you."

"You sure?" Rollins asked.

"Yeah" Olivia answered. Barba watched as she quickly placed the note that came with the roses into the pocket of her slacks. She turned quickly to Barba. "I was just about to head home Barba. Did you want to walk me out?"Not only did Olivia want to go home for some much needed relaxation, She needed a sidebar with her friend, and she wanted to give Rollins and Carisi some time alone. Olivia found it funny that they honestly thought they were hiding their romance well.

"Sure I'll walk you out." Barba answered, and within moments they were walking toward Barba's Bentley. "I heard you had a rough day?"

"What? It was fine. What did you need to talk to me about?" Barba could tell his friend was not ready to talk about what happened today, so he decided to answer her question right away, knowing that when she was ready to talk about what went on with Victoria Glen she would.

"I need to talk to you about Noah's birthday cake. I have an idea." Olivia smiled, and in that moment all her stress seemed to disappear.


	15. Chapter 15

"Noah Mommy's home." Olivia called as she walked into her apartment. It was now Saturday at 5:30PM. Olivia planned on taking Noah to the park this afternoon, but at noon she was called to another crime scene. Lucy was sitting on the sofa with Noah who was smiling and clutching Eddie. "Hello sweet boy, do you feel better?" Olivia said as she walked toward her son.

"Up." Noah said. Olivia picked him up. This was the happiest she'd seen him in weeks, and she sighed in relief. She kissed his check. "That's my big boy."

"He's doing so much better today Liv. Lucy said excitedly. He played, and we sat outside for awhile. He wouldn't go anywhere without Eddie."

Olivia smiled and hugged Noah tightly. I'm so happy to hear that. Thanks for all your help Lucy. I'm sorry it took me so long to get back. I hope I didn't ruin your plans. I can cancel tonight."

"No!" Lucy answered. "It's not a problem, I have another paper to write. I do have plans tomorrow night. I want you to have fun Liv. You don't get out enough."

"Lucy, I get out plenty, too much." Olivia kissed Noah's hair. His hair was damp, and he smelled of soap. Olivia was grateful he already had his bath.

"Not for fun. Come on Liv. I'll help you get ready." Olivia rolled her eyes. She was hoping to get out of tonight's plans, and make new less stressful ones

"I don't have to go Lucy, and you can still work on your paper here."

"Liv please go." She ran to Olivia's bedroom. Olivia followed, and moments later she found Lucy searching her closet.

"Down." Noah said. Olivia placed him down on the carpeted floor. He hugged Eddie.

Lucy gently throw a dress onto Olivia's bed, and Olivia felt her cheeks getting hot. "Lucy I can't wear that?"

"Trust me Liv." Olivia sat down on the bed and held the outfit in her hands. It was a short sleeved, black dress with an asymmetrical neckline.. It stopped just above her knees.

"If I wear a jacket, I can pull it off."

"No, no jacket." Lucy said. "You wear jackets to work."

I like jackets, and it's too short." Olivia protested.

"He'll love it." What if I don't want him to love it Olivia thought, but did not say. "Get changed please, Lucy said sweetly as she picked Noah up from the floor. He laughed, and she carried him out of the room.

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Olivia entered Catch Of The Day, a restaurant which had been in the City since 1950. It had been remodeled in 1999, It was another restaurant Olivia never had the time to try, 1999 was the year Olivia joined Manhattan's SVU, so much had changed since then, and some things were exactly the same. She was still single and still fighting a good fight for victims who learned with her help they were strong, and that the nightmarish experiences they endured did not have to destroy them.

Olivia watched as Dr. Brad Taylor walked to her. She took a deep silent breath. How did Lucy convince me not only to wear this dress, but to wear it without a jacket. Olivia thought to herself. "Olivia, you look incredible!" Dr. Taylor said.

"Thank-you." She almost forgot how tall Dr. Taylor was, he wore a gray suit. "You look nice." Dr. Taylor smiled and held out an arm to her. She took it, and held it very lightly.

"I got us a table." He said as he lead her to it. Olivia let go of his arm, and sat down. Dr. Taylor pushed her chair in and sat across from her. She looked around and was thankful this restaurant was more casual than the last one they eat at. Maybe, she would find something here she could eat. "I hope you like this place Olivia. I know you didn't enjoy the last one. French food isn't for everyone. I should have asked if you liked it first."

"It's fine. Don't worry about it." Olivia answered quickly. It was nice to know that he noticed, she didn't think he did. She glanced at the menu, and put it down quickly. She watched as a waiter walked to the table.

"Hello I'm Jonny, I'll be your server What can I get for you?" His blue eyes were focused on Olivia.

"I'll have the salmon, and a glass of water please." Olivia said. Jonny nodded.

"And you sir?"

"I'll have the lobster tails, and a water with lemon." Jonny wrote down the orders, grabbed the menus, and walked quickly to the kitchen You can order something more expensive. It's ok Olivia.

"No need, I ordered what I wanted."

"You sure? You don't have to order just water, don't worry about the bill."

"It's fine." Olivia answered. "Thank-you for the flowers, they're beautiful."

"You're welcome. I was happy to send them Olivia."

"I was surprised to get them at work."

"Oh, your work address is in Noah's file." Olivia nodded because she knew he was telling the truth, the address was in Noah's file.

"They are so beautiful. It was so sweet of you. I'm a very private person."

"Oh I'm sorry, I'm sure your colleagues had questions." Olivia nodded.

"I'll keep that in mind."

"It was a nice thought. Don't get me wrong. Thank-you."

Dr. Taylor smiled. "Thank-you for having dinner with me, and agreeing to see the show with me too. I hope the food arrives soon, because I'm not missing this show." "How was your day?" He asked quickly.

"I had a work emergency, then I ran home, put Noah to sleep, got ready, and here I am."

"How do you do it?"

"What?" Olivia asked.

"How do you manage being a mother and doing the work that you do?" Dr. Taylor replied.

Olivia watched as Jonny walked up to the table carrying a black tray. "Here you go." He said placing Olivia's food in front of her first.

"Thank-you Jonny." Olivia said, In response Jonny smiled. Olivia broke eye contact, and Jonny placed Dr. Taylor's food in front of him.

"If you need something let me know. I'll be back to check on you in a bit." Jonny said as he walked away

"How was your day?" Olivia asked Dr. Taylor. She then began to cut her salmon.

"No, we were talking about you. I asked how you manage being a mother and doing your job."

"I just do. Somebody has to. I'm good at my job, I've been a cop longer than I've been a mother. and for many years my job was all there was. for me. I'm so happy to be a mom. and I think in some ways being Noah's mother has made me a better cop. It gave me a prospective I didn't have before."

"I understand what it's like to give your life to a job."

I'm sure you do. Being a doctor is hard work, but helping people, saving lives is an amazing feeling. When you need to make room in your life, you will, and you will still be a good doctor, maybe even a better one."

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Olivia's mind raced with thoughts of work. Nicole Price still had not called her back, and it nagged at her. She thought of the crime scene, she had been called to today, and the one she was called to last weekend. Were both women attacked by the same man? It was 8:30. Olivia had been sitting in a Broadway theater with Dr. Taylor for the past 45 minutes. The show got off to a late start, it was supposed to start at exactly 8:00. Dinner with Dr. Taylor was nice compared to the last time, but he had a lot of questions, and when the show didn't start on time, the questions continued. She was so tired. She should have rescheduled, and stayed home with Noah. She felt bad that Dr. Taylor spent so much on a ticket for a show, she could not enjoy right now. She wanted to, but she felt like she had the whole world on her shoulders. She glanced over at Dr. Taylor who was engrossed in the show, Love Never Dies. It was a continuation of The Phantom of the Opera story. She wondered what Barba was doing now, knowing him, he was probably up to elbows in paperwork, using coffee to stay awake. Maybe she could help him. She fought the urge to get up from her seat and call him.

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It was 9:30. Lucy was sitting in Olivia's living area. She finished her paper, closed her laptop, and walked quietly to Noah's room. He was sleeping deeply, and she smiled. She stepped out of his room the second she heard her cell phone ding. She smiled again when she saw the text that had just came in was from Roberto I love you too. She typed back. I just finished my paper, give me a few minutes, and I'll call you. She hit send. She put her phone in the pocket of her jeans, and began placing some of Noah's toys into his play-box. She jumped at the sound of a ringing phone, it was not hers, She ran to answer Olivia's land-line. She almost forgot Olivia had a land-line, she picked it up at the 4th ring.

"Hello."

"Lucy, is Liv there?" Barba asked.

"Liv?" Surprise filled Lucy's voice. "She's not with you?"

"No", Barba answered, nervously. "I tried her cell phone, she didn't answer. Did she say she was coming to see me?"

Lucy could hear the worry in Barba's voice. "No, she went to dinner and a show tonight. I thought she was going with you."

"We didn't have any scheduled plans tonight, Barba answered in a low voice.

"Mr. Barba? " Lucy replied quickly. "Can you do me a favor? I want to see Roberto tonight. Liv doesn't like anyone in the apartment she doesn't know around Noah. I agree with that. Roberto is great, but Liv hasn't met him yet. I know you're busy, but can you come over and watch Noah? Liv already paid me, I'll make up the hours this coming week. She should be home around 10:30."

"Sure Lucy, I'll be there. I'm leaving now."


	16. Chapter 16

Olivia tiptoed slowly into her apartment at 11PM. She didn't want to wake Noah or Lucy up. She was surprised, and grateful that her small living room light was on. "Hello," She heard a voice say. She jumped, and quickly spun around. She could feel her heat beat. She took a deep audible breath when her brown eyes focused on Noah who was sleeping soundly on Barba's arm.

"What are you doing here?" Olivia whispered. Where's Lucy?"

"Liv, It's just me. everything's ok." Barba said gently. . "Let me just put Noah back in his bed and we'll talk." Barba made sure Noah was securely in his arms, before he got up, and walked toward the boy's bedroom.

"Don't drop him." Olivia called softly as he walked.

"I won't." He called back. Within moments Barba was back in the living room. He walked in front of Olivia. He spoke rapidly." I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. Lucy's fine She wanted to make plans, so, she asked me to watch Noah. She said she would make up the hours during the week."

"She's Ok?"

"She's Ok."" Barba watched as relief washed over Olivia's face, and her body began to relax.. She moved to the sofa, and sat down. Barba sat down next to her.

"Why did Lucy call you? If she wanted to go out all she had to do was say something, there's something going on with her. I feel it in my gut." She leaned back on the sofa and looked Barba directly in the eyes. "Barba don't you know never to sneak up on a cop?"

"Yes, and I know not to sneak up on you Lieutenant, which is why I called you when I got here. Your phone was off. "

"How long how you been here? When did Lucy call you?"

"Not long, and I called you earlier. You never turn your phone off, and when I didn't hear from you after awhile I called your land-line, that's when Lucy asked me to keep an eye on Noah."

Olivia spoke quickly, "What's gotten into her lately? I told her, I didn't have to go out tonight. Olivia was silent for a moment. She grabbed her left foot, and took off a black heel before she continued speaking. "She insisted I go, and then wouldn't let me go until I agreed to wear this dress." Olivia was suddenly self-conscious. She wanted to turn away from her friend's intense green eyes, but she didn't.

"She's in love." Barba answered trying to keep his voice steady, Olivia didn't see it, but she always took his breath away, he was used to seeing her in work clothes. Recently, he was privileged enough to see her in casual clothing. which made his heart skip an extra beat because, he knew that he was in her inner circle. She allowed him to see beyond her title, and there was so much to see. He had never had the opportunity to be this close to her, so dressed up. They both attended the same fancy fundraising dinners, but she was always technically out with someone else. Barba heard her other heel drop to the floor.

"She told you that?" Olivia asked. Barba could see, it hurt her, that he knew information about Lucy before she did. Lucy was a part of Olivia's small family.

"She let it slip."

"When did she have the time? I saw a a picture on her phone of someone, I should have asked her about it. I've been meaning to, but something always comes up."

"She's not hiding it Liv, I just don't think she's quite ready to introduce him to you or Noah."

"Maybe", Olivia said softly. I'll be right back. Don't go anywhere... unless you need to." Olivia said quickly jumping up. She held on to one shoe, and picked up the other from the floor.

"Me, I'm not going anywhere Liv. I need a sidebar." He watched as Olivia walked to her bedroom. In his head the short conversation he had with Lucy over the phone replayed itself. Lucy said, she thought he was taking Olivia out tonight, Olivia said that Lucy wouldn't let her leave the apartment until she agreed to wear that dress. Barba smiled, his half smile, a smile that was for Olivia Benson only.

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10 minutes later, Olivia ran into her living room. Barba was no longer sitting on her couch. She quickly looked in the direction of her kitchen, and there he was. He was preparing something. Sensing her eyes on him, Barba looked up from a bowl. Olivia stood there wearing a white T-shirt, and black leggings. Her hair was lose. He swallowed hard, "Sorry about that." Olivia said. "I was so uncomfortable, and my feet were killing me in those heels." What are you doing?" He didn't answer, instead he took the container that had been next to him on the counter, and placed it back in the freezer. Olivia inched closer. Barba opened her silverware drawer, and quickly closed it. Olivia could see he had 2 spoons in his hand, there were 2 bowls on the counter, he put a spoon in each, He picked up the 2 bowls, walked toward her, and handed her one

"Here, you must be starving."

Olivia looked inside the cold bowl, and there she found strawberry ice cream with real strawberries inside. She smiled, and Barba heard a tiny laugh escape her lips, She took a very small spoonful, she wanted to savor it. She put the spoon back in the bowl, and spoke. "What makes you think I'm starving?"

"You were date eating."

"What?"

"You were date eating." Barba repeated, "It's when a woman wants to eat , but she doesn't because she doesn't want her date to see. Then she comes home and eats what she wants." He took a spoonful of his ice cream, and walked to the couch. Olivia followed, and sat down next to him.

"Why do I suddenly feel like a juror, you just explained a legal term to?" Men don't date eat Barba?" Olivia was starting to get nervous.

"It happens, but it's unusual."

"Oh well, I don't date eat. You've seen me eat a meal." She took a large spoonful of ice cream, and put it in her mouth.

"You don't date eat in front of me, you're comfortable with me, there's no need." He took a large spoon of ice cream.

"There should never be a need for that". She watched as Barba swallowed the ice cream. Why didn't this feel like a simple conversation?

"How was it?" Barba asked taking another big spoonful of ice cream.

"How was what?"

Barba resisted the strong urge to roll his eyes." How was the date?"

"How did you know I had a date?"

"Olivia, Por favor. You don't have be a detective to figure it out. You were dressed to kill when you walked in, you got flowers the other day, and I know you, you don't go out to dinners and shows by yourself."

"I can." She said quickly.

"Yes, you can. You don't. He finished his ice cream, and got up. Olivia watched as he washed his bowl in her kitchen sink. He made eye contact as he made his way back to his seat beside her.

"Lucy told you I was at a show tonight?" Barba nodded. "She's been telling you a lot."

"How was it?"

"Fine, good. We went to dinner and he took me to a Broadway. I can't remember the last time I was able to see a Broadway show."

Impressive, I love a good Broadway show. What show was it?"

"Love Never Dies." Olivia answered. She took another spoon of ice cream,and watched as Barba rolled his eyes.

"Love Never Dies, a continuation of Phantom of the Opera. He couldn't pick a better show? The Phantom's soul mate dies in the end.

"Some shows are tragic, and there are no soul mates." Olivia said quickly. Barba had a lot to say about his friend's soul mate comment, but he decided not to.

"That's not a show to take a woman you just met to." He said instead.

"I see your point." I was always uncomfortable with the Phantom of the Opera."

"Why?" Barba asked.

"Why? It's too intense, the Phantom is a psychopath,"

"The Phantom loved her."

"Yeah, they were soul mates. Come on Barba, you don't believe that do you? He lied to her, he brainwashed her. She was his victim "

"He let her go, because he loved her."

Olivia rolled her eyes." He killed."

"That show has some beautiful music."

"It sends a bad message to woman and girls."

"That's it. I'm taking you to a good Broadway show, one with a happy ending."

"I'm not just talking about the show."

"I know, you're talking about the book. I read it."

"You read everything," Olivia laughed.

"When I have time which is never now. Barba watched as she eat the ice cream. "So how did you like the continuation of the story,"

"I wasn't paying attention. I couldn't stop thinking about my cases. I was called to another crime scene. We could be looking at a serial rapist. Nicole Price still hasn't called me back."

"Liv, I can't make a case with what I have."

"I can't let it go! I know something happened to her!" Barba could see Olivia was trying to keep the emotion out of her voice. She was trying to make sure her voice didn't crack.

"I know Liv. You'll find out what it was, but for right now, there is nothing you can do." He watched as she took her last bite of ice cream. He didn't want her to be plagued with nightmares or to get another tension headache. Rafael was often plagued with stress, nervousness, and anxiety. Olivia was a master at calming him She was so comforting and it was his job to comfort her too, anything he could do for this woman made him happy. He watched as she carried her ice cream dish to the sink. She quickly washed it, and within moments she was sitting beside him again. She wanted to pace, but she was too tired for that, and she was too tired to sleep.

"I almost walked out of the theater to call you. I thought you might need my help with a case. Did you want to work now?"

"No, you need to relax now, I'm sorry I scared you. I should have waited with Noah outside for you."

"Thank-you for taking care of him Raffa. How did he end up sleeping on your arm?" She smiled, and her brown eyes were suddenly filled with what looked like joy.

"When I got here, he was sleeping, but almost as soon as Lucy left, I heard him crying. I picked him up, and sat here with him until he fell asleep."

"That's all it took?"

"Well, I did talk to him. Maybe that's what did it." He doesn't have a fever. Don't worry I checked."

"You did? Olivia said. He could he the shock in her voice.

"Yes." He answered chuckling. He was almost certain Olivia was thinking about the first time she put Noah in his arms.

"Thanks for the ice cream. You know as a kid strawberry ice cream was my favorite, and it still is one of them."

"I know, before I drove here, I made a very quick stop at the store."

"Thank-you." Olivia repeated, this time very softly. Rafael had so many more questions, but now wasn't the time. He grabbed the TV. remote and searched for something happy.


	17. Chapter 17

was Saturday. Olivia walked slowly through Botanical Gardens with Dr. Brad Taylor beside her. He was telling her stories of his medical school days, and she was very happy he wasn't asking her questions. This was the last place she expected to be today.

She and Barba worked all night together in his office, using cheap coffee to stay awake. Barba drove her home at 2:AM, It was not the time for a sidebar, but she really needed one. She was so quiet as he walked her into her apartment. She said good night to him, and locked her apartment door. She called him a little while later. "I just wanted to make sure you got home ok." She said to her friend.

"You have perfect timing. I just walked in." Barba answered. "I was just going to call you."

"You and I need to get some sleep. Good night Barba".

"Good night Liv, sweet dreams."

"Barba?"

"Yes."

"Never mind."

"Liv, are you ok?"

"Yeah", she answered slowly. "It can wait,"

"It doesn't have to."

"It isn't Important. Good night Barba."

"Liv,, just say it, and I'm in the car within 5 minutes on my way to you. Not just tonight, always." Olivia took a breath, shocked by his words, "I mean it.."

"Really, Barba, it can wait. sleep well." Before he could respond again, she hung up the phone.

Brad Taylor's voice brought Olivia out of her thoughts of Barba, and back to the current moment. "I hope you're enjoying this Olivia." Brad, walked toward a bench, and sat down, Olivia followed, sitting next to him, but not too close.

"Yes, it's beautiful here." Olivia said.

"It is. I try to come here at least once a month. It's nice to come here with someone".He scooted closer to Olivia. "I can tell you're a difficult person to get to know Olivia, but I'd like to."

At that moment Olivia's phone rang. "Benson." She said quickly." I'm on my way." She hung up her cell phone, and got off the bench. "I'm sorry Brad. I have to go."

"Work?"

"Yeah, you know how it is,"

"I do." Brad replied. Olivia smiled. "I'll get you a cab."

"No need, I'll take care of it." Olivia answered walking away.

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Rafael Barba was sitting with his mother finishing dinner when his cell phone rang. He answered quickly. "Hello."

"I need a sidebar." He heard Olivia say

"I'll be out of here in 5 minutes." He said. His mother smiled and arched an eyebrow. He hung up.

"I know who that was." Lucia said, her eyes twinkling.

"Mami , please." Rafael said rolling his eyes.

"Make sure you bring her some food. I have enough to feed an army."

"I would, but I don't have time."

"Rafi, I'm surprised at you." Lucia was up, and rapidly walking into her kitchen "You don't think I can put a bag of food together in less than 5 minutes, food that's already cooked." He watched as his mother opened the fridge.

"She got flowers." Rafael blurted out.

"I see." Lucia answered without stopping her task. "And those flowers weren't from you?"

"She hates getting flowers, why would I get her flowers."

"How impressive were these flowers?" Lucia asked.

"They weren't as impressive as they were odd."

Mi hijo, your best friend, the love of your life got flowers from a man who was not you, you are never going to feel good about that, but that doesn't make it odd."

Rafael knew that his mother was right, but he still found it strange." They were red roses, but in the middle there was a single yellow rose."

"That is odd", Lucia said quickly. "What did the card say?"

"I don't know, all I know is that a Dr. Taylor sent them."

"Rafi, listen to your mother. Find out who this doctor is." Lucia walked over to her son, and handed him a bag.

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Rafael knocked on Olivia's door. "Barba?" He heard her say.

"It's me." Olivia quickly opened the door, and stepped aside. She was gorgeous as always, she also looked stressed and exhausted. He could tell she was trying to hide it. She was holding Noah. Rafael walked in, smiling. He closed and locked the door.

"Are you ok, was there traffic?" Olivia asked.

"I'm coming from the Bronx,"

"Oh Barba, you're coming from your mother's? Why didn't you say something?" I could've waited."

"Liv relax." He answered, he saw guilt in her eyes, and under the circumstances he found it cute.

"Barba unless it's an emergency don't leave your mother for me. I feel terrible about this."

"Liv, again relax. Don't worry."

"Barba", she repeated. He put a hand up to signal her to stop.

"Barba!" Noah said. Rafael laughed.

Barba looked deep into the boy's smiling eyes. "Noah, tell "Mami, not to worry."

"Barba!" Noah repeated.

"This is from my mother." He said referring to the bag that was in his hand. He walked to the kitchen area, and put the food away.

"Not more food." Are you trying to make me fat?"

"No, and that's impossible."

"Seriously, Barba I doubt I'll have time to go to the gym this week."

"Who needs a gym when you have Noah." He watched as Olivia laughed, and he couldn't help but join her.

"Barba!" Noah repeated, Rafael walked out of the kitchen, and to his friend, He took Noah from her arm. It took Olivia a moment to let go, and Barba laughed at the surprised look on Olivia's face.

"You think you're the only one who wants to hold him after a long day?" Barba asked. Olivia smiled in response. Noah laughed.

"I really wish you didn't travel all the way from the Bronx?" Olivia said.

"Really?" Barba asked, not believing her.

I'm glad you're here, don't be so smug."

"that's part of my charm. How was your day?"

"Stressful."

"Ok, why don't you start by telling me something I don't know," She looked at Noah who was now half asleep. "Tell you what, you relax and I'll put Noah to bed."

"I'll do it."

"Liv, it's Ok. I want to do. it." Bara said quickly.

Noah was clinging to Barba.. Olivia sighed. She took a step closer to Barba. She leaned in and kissed Noah's cheek. "Bedtime Noah."Good night, I love you. She backed away. "Barba, he needs...

"Eddie", Barba said finishing her thought.. Olivia stared as her friend carried her son down the hall to his room. She was happy Barba's back was to her, because in truth, she wasn't exactly sure what her face was doing. Was she blushing? She touched her cheeks and was relieved to find they were still cool, she allowed herself a quick half smile.

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10 minutes later Bara was out of Noah's room, and walking over to Olivia who was now sitting on the couch. "Now, that Noah is sleeping soundly out of earshot, you mind telling me what's wrong."

"Nothing really, just your typical stressful day."

"Details Liv."

Olivia sighed. "I was called to another crime scene, I don't like this, I see a pattern."

"You're sure it's the same guy."

"It's the same guy Raffa, and he's escalating. He strikes on weekends, and he's very careful, there are no signs of forced entry, we haven't found DNA yet. He's a pro. The smart ones are the most dangerous.". She folded her hands over her chest.

"Liv,,you'll get him. Rafael said softly. He knew she was thinking about Lewis, he would give anything if he could take that pain away. Olivia was strong, she was still the best at her job, and that would never change, but every once in awhile she got a case that shook her, a case that brought her back to the terror filled days she was forced to spend with Lewis, a very smart, dangerous individual. Barba wanted to change the subject right now, but he couldn't do it too soon. If he did Olivia would look at him like he was crazy, and she wouldn't be able to let go. "You have anything to go on?" He asked looking her in the eyes.

"Maybe, I have Rollins checking on something. All the rapes occurred in apartments, in differant buildings, and in differant neighborhoods, I think maybe all the buildings have the same owner."

"Get me something to go on, and you'll get your warrant." Barba watched as Olivia uncrossed her arms.

"On it ."

"Not now Liv, there's nothing you can do about it tonight. How was the rest of the day?"

"Does it matter?" She said softly.

"Yes it matters, he said using his commanding courtroom voice, because he didn't want her to withdraw into her thoughts. He looked into her eyes, he could see she wanted to speak. She opened her month and closed it. "Liv, it matters. He said softly.

"I thought I was going to spend most of the day with Noah, but early this morning, Lucy asked if she could take him for the day, because Kimberly is in town, she's Lucy's cousin, and she has a son Noah's age. His name is Aiden and when Noah heard his name, he gave me a look. I couldn't say no. He and Aiden met the last time Kimberly was in town, and they hit it off. I got Noah ready. He left with Lucy, and I had no idea what to do, so I decided to go walk around Botanical Gardens."

"You mean Mr. Phantom called, and asked you to go to Botanical Gardens with him."

"Ok, you're right. This is so strange for me, I'm so close with the squad, but I never talk about my dating life or lack there of with them."

"I know that all too well."

"Oh", Olivia said rolling her eyes. "Please, don't bring up Tucker." Olivia suddenly felt uneasy about the turn in this conversation, a conversation that was meant to be simple. Olivia regretted her words the second they left her month.

"Liv, believe me, I never want t talk about the Tucker situation again. We put it behind us. Didn't we?"

"I almost lost my job at SVU."

"You didn't."

"I didn't. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought it up, I just thought, you were about to, and I didn't want to talk about it."

"I'm sorry. I know it was hell thinking even for a second you might lose your place at SVU."

"That's not all that was hell for me, I hated how it effected our friendship. You had a right to be mad at me. I like to keep my personal life to myself, Barba, but in the case of Tucker, it was unprofessional."

"Liv, just so you know I could never stay angry at you." He smiled at her, and he thought he saw her take a breath of relief. "So" Barba continued in as light a tone as he could. "What do you know about this phantom guy, other than the fact that he seems obsessed with flowers?"

"I don't think he's obsessed with flowers, he just thinks every women in the world is obsessed with flowers. She laughed for a second, and then continued." He's a nice normal guy. Barba could not believe his ears, and it took all his willpower not to roll his green eyes.

"Where did you meet him?" Barba asked.

"Dr. Lee just got married, Dr. Taylor is covering for her while she's on her honeymoon."

"Wait, this guy is Norah's doctor." The wheels in Barba's head were spinning.

"Until Dr. Lee gets back." So many words and sentences were forming in Rafael Barba's head, he had so much to ask, so much to tell her, but he couldn't right now, if he did it would come out all wrong. He thought about changing the subject until he could think clearly, but he didn't have to, because there was a knock at the door. He saw his best friend get up quickly to answer it.


	18. Chapter 18

Lucy is everything alright?" Olivia asked as she opened the door.

"Yeah Liv". Lucy answered stepping into the apartment. "I just forgot my laptop, and I have a couple of Noah's books, I'll trade you." She said, laughing.

"Ok, I didn't see it. Did you leave it in Noah's room?"

"I think so."

"Noah's already sleeping, but I can tiptoe in there and look."

"Would you? I know it's getting late, but I really need that laptop, I have to print a paper."

"Lucy, you don't have to explain, I'll be right back. Olivia quietly walked to Noah's room, and closed the door gently to keep out noise.

"Hi Mr. Barba Lucy said smiling,

"Hello Lucy. Barba said getting up from the couch, "How are you?"

"Great, I wanted to thank-you for babysitting Noah, and I have a small favor to ask you," Lucy walked over to the coffee table and stood there.

"You never have to thank me for babysitting Noah. We had fun."

"I'll bet." Lucy replied." Barba wanted to smile, but didn't, instead he used one of his courtroom faces.

"What's the favor?"

"You know I have to introduce Roberto to Liv. I can't seem to find the right time, but I do know that I want you there when I do."

"Lucy, you can talk to Liv."

"Oh, I know that, but I still want you there. You know Liv doesn't like people she doesn't know around Noah."

"I know, we talked about this."

"It's important to me that Liv is comfortable, and that she allows herself to relax enough to get to know Roberto. I want her to feel comfortable with him being around Noah, in case I want him to meet me somewhere while I'm out with him or I want Roberto to pick me up after work."

"Lucy, I don't keep secrets from Liv, and I don't like it when people ask me to."

"I don't want to keep secrets Mr. Barba, I'm just asking that you be there. Liv trusts you. She's can relax around you. Please."

"Alright, I'll think of something. Let's have this meeting after Noah's Birthday party Ok?"

"Fine with me. Thank-you so much!"

Lucy took 2 books out of a large black bag, she had been carrying over her right shoulder. She put one on the coffee table. "Qué cosas dice mi Abuela" Barba read the title out loud, The Things My Grandmother Says. The book was by Ana Galan. Lucy placed another book on top of it, and Barba read that title out loud. My First Spanish Word Book by Felicity Brooks.

Lucy head the question in Barba's voice. "Liv is trying to teach Noah Spanish, She told me she used to speak it a lot until she was partnered with Nick. She's teaching it to me too. I asked her to, and she doesn't want to get rusty."

"She won't" Barba said, chuckling.

"I'm glad you're here Mr. Barba. Liv looked so sad when I left with Noah today, but Noah was so excited she couldn't say no. My cousin has a little boy, they don't visit very often."

"Liv told me." Barba said. "Did Noah have fun?"

"A blast!"

"Knowing that Noah is happy and healthy makes Liv happy."

"And you." Lucy answered.

"How long are your cousins in town?"

"At least a week, so it looks like Liv will have a little free time. Maybe, you can take her for a drink?" Just an idea. You'll think of something."

Barba smiled. You didn't forget your laptop Lucy. You wanted to check on Liv."

"I look up to her, she's the best, she never thinks of herself. "If I'm even half the woman she is I'll be alright. You know when I started working here, I was so stressed. I was dating a guy named Trevor. All he did was put me down. One night Liv got home from work, and I was on the phone with him. She heard him screaming at me. She walked over, took the phone, and went into Lieutenant Benson mode. I never saw anything like it. It was so cool! When she was done with him, she hung up the phone. She sat down with me, and said Lucy, I know you don't see it, but you deserve so much better, so much more, there are good guys out there, please wait for one of them. I broke up with Trevor the next day. He couldn't even speak. I worked on myself Mr. Barba, and Roberto found me. Liv was right."

"Lucy I found your laptop." Olivia said walking back into the living area.

"Thanks", Lucy answered taking it from Olivia's hands, and placing it in her bag.

"Are you hungry Lucy?"

"You have food in the house? "Lucy asked laughing.

"Too much Barba came over with a care package."

"Is it Cuban food?"

"Yes", Barba said. Cuban food, courtesy of Lucia Barba, who would be very insulted if she knew you were giving her food away Lieutenant."

"I didn't say I wasn't going to eat any of it. It's just too much."

"I got a look at your fridge before that care package Liv, it was practically empty."

"You should see the kitchen cabinets." Mr. Barba Lucy said.

"Enough!" Liv said to both of them laughing. "You know.I do go grocery shopping."

"For Noah." Lucy. replied. She looked at her watch. "I really have to go, I'll see Noah tomorrow."

"Call me, when you get home,"

"I will." Lucy said. "I have my pepper spray."

"Good." Olivia answered. Lucy exited the apartment. Olivia locked the door. and turned in the direction of her small kitchen. She heard a beep, and she watched as Barba worked in the kitchen. He took a plate down from a cabinet. "Barba what are you doing?"

"What dies it look like Lieutenant. I'm making you a plate."

"You don't have to."

"It's almost done." He said as he continued to prepare the pate "Sit, relax. Olivia walked over to the table and sat.. Rafael placed the plate in front or her and sat across from her.

Olivia took a bite. "Pollo Al Ajillo", garlic chicken. "This is delicious."

She took another 3 bites before Barba spoke. I'll tell my mother, she'll be very happy."

"Please, tell me you're not going to just sit there and watch me eat."

"I'll have some rice pudding with you, when you finish your plate if that makes you feel any better."

"You're mother packed rice pudding too?"

"Barba smiled. "Yes."

"With Cinnamon?" She asked with a smile.

"Of course.""

"Thank-you." Olivia said softly.

"It's nothing."

"That's not true. How was your day?"

"I got a lot of paperwork done, and then I had dinner with my mother."

"I'm happy you're so close with her, you shouldn't have left her to rush over here."

"She didn't mind Liv."

"How do you know?"

"She likes you."

"She doesn't know me."

"She knows enough." Olivia gave him, a look which he was sure he would have been able to read if she hadn't quickly averted her eyes She looked down at her plate and continued to eat. He was happy she was enjoying it. He could tell she needed a good meal and a good sleep. When she was done eating, she looked up at him, the look he did not have a chance to read was gone.

"Thank your mother for me, Tell her she's the best cook in the Bronx." He smiled at her and was about to say something when he phone ran "Benson, Lucy you're home safe. good, see you tomorrow."

"You want that rice pudding now?" Barba asked.

"I'll have a little", Olivia said letting out a little yawn.

"Maybe you should get some sleep Liv."

"I can't sleep now. maybe in a few hours."

"You're not still sleeping in that rocking chair beside Noah's bed, are you?" Olivia was silent, which meant she didn't want to lie to him.

"You are. When was the last time you slept in a bed?"

"I'm fine."

"When?"

"I don't know, weeks ago."

"Liv. Noah is fine. He's playing and talking again. With your job, you can't afford to be sleep deprived."

"You're right."

"What?" Barba said laughter in his voice.

"Don't make me say it again." Olivia sighed and continued. "What if he runs another high fever, and I can't get him to the hospital on time."

"You got him there Liv."

"Because I was sleeping right next to him in that chair."

"He'll be fine Liv."

"You think so."

"Yes, and I'm right about everything. I'm getting that rice pudding." Barba got up from the table, and walked into the kitchen. Within moments he was back with 2 small dishes of rice pudding. His heart filled with dread when he head Olivia's phone ring again. It rang 4 times and she continued to eat her pudding and talk to him. "You're not answering your phone?"

"It's Dr. Taylor, I'll call him back tomorrow.

"I have an idea, since we're both off from work tomorrow, you want to relax and watch a movie? Your couch has to be more comfortable than that rocking chair."

"Sure. Olivia walked with him to the couch, and within moments Barba found an old movie that was about to begin. What movie is this? She asked.

"An Affair to Remember. You've never seen it?

"No."

"How is that possible? It's a classic."

"I don't know." She got up for a moment, and returned to her spot on the couch with a plaid blanket. She wasn't going to sleep right away, but suddenly she felt very relaxed. Relief washed over Rafael Barba as he watched Olivia getting comfortable. He knew that they were not finished talking about Dr. Taylor, but Olivia needed the rest, and he just wanted to enjoy the moment. She was so close to him, he could reach out, and touch he easily .As he watched the movie, he silently prayed she would ask him hold her, but he knew she wouldn't.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At the beginning of this story Noah is 3 going on 4, this was mentioned in the author's notes in the first chapter, I found a typo related to his age in chapter 1 that has been corrected.
> 
> In chapter 18, I mentioned An Affair To Remember, it is a real film which came out in 1957. The books mentioned in chapter 18 have been published, and are in print

It was Saturday evening. It was another rough day for Olivia Benson, the entire week had been rough. At noon today, Olivia was called to yet another crime scene. Again, there was no DNA or forced entry. She and Rollins thought that all the victims may be renting apartments in buildings with one owner in common. It wasn't much to go on. but it could be something. Olivia got home at 5:PM. All she wanted to do was relax, but she couldn't. Her mind was spinning. She walked into Fitzgerald's, a jazz lounge, and spotted Dr. Brad Taylor right away.

"Olivia you look breathtaking." He said, walking to her. Olivia was wearing a long sleeved, floor length, crew neck, black dress covered in silver rhinestones.

"Thanks Brad, I'm sorry I'm late."

Dr. Taylor glanced at his watch. It took him a moment to answer. "No worries, you're a busy woman. Come with me", he said leading her to a table at the back of the lounge. Jazz music filled the room, but thankfully it was not too loud. She wished that this place wasn't so dimly lit. She sat down, and Dr. Taylor quickly sat across from her. "It's nice to see you again Olivia. How was your day, how was your week? How's Noah?"

"I've been working, and Noah's fine. I think he's back to his old self. Thanks so much for asking, and for your help with him,"

"I'm glad, he's feeling better."

"So Brad, tell me more about yourself."

"You're a cop, you must ask questions all the time. You don't get tired of it?"

"Not at all."

He laughed. "I love jazz, and travel books. I'm a good dancer."

"Why travel books?"

"I want to see the world, but with my job, I don't have time."

"I understand that."

"In order to send you flowers at work, I had to look in Noah's file. Under your work information there is a phone number and, an address, but you failed to list the name of your department."

"Special Victims Unit."

"Doesn't that unit handle sex crimes, and child abuse?"

"Can I get you a drink?" A waitress said, walking up to the table.

"Ladies first", Dr. Taylor said to Olivia. Olivia didn't want a drink with alcohol, in case she got called to work again.

"Club soda with lemon please." Olivia said to the waitress, "Thank-you."

"No Alcohol?" The waitress asked to be sure.

"No Alcohol." Olivia confirmed. "Thank-you."

"The same." Dr. Taylor said when the waitress looked at him. She nodded and walked away. When she did, Dr. Taylor continued to speak. "I don't know how you do it. You have to be such a strong person to work with people in such pain."

"I'm sure you've seen your share of people in pain."

"You're right, luckily I haven't come across many child abuse cases, and I have been able to help a lot of people. I think your job is more difficult than mine has been, so far. You must see so much cruelty. I never could understand why people enjoy inflicting pain on others. What do you do to relax Olivia? You have to do something to get your mind off of the horrors you see?"

"I spend time with my son every chance I get."

"He's so young, I take it, you've been in this line of work long before he was born. What did you do then?" The waitress came back to the table with 2 club sodas, placed them down, and left.

"Brad, I keep telling you, I'm boring, before there was nothing, but work, and that was Ok. My job is very rewarding."

"If you had the chance to travel Olivia, would you?"

"I'm so busy, it would depend on where."

"What about Italy?" Have you ever been?"

"I haven't been there, but it would give me a chance to use Italian?"

"You speak Italian?"

"Yes."" Olivia took 2 small sips of her drink and put it down.

"I speak French."

"So do I."

"Impressive. I'm surprised you decided to become a cop, I mean no disrespect, what you do is needed and honorable, It's just I get the sense you could have done anything."

"And I chose to join The New York City Police Department, and to became a detective."

"You're not boring Olivia, you're amazing." Dr. Taylor sipped his drink, and placed it down quickly. Olivia, would you dance with me?"

Olivia got up from the table. "Sure." Her mind was still spinning, and she needed a break from talking. She and Dr. Taylor walked onto the dance floor.

Olivia felt Dr. Taylor's arms wrap around her as Norah Jones's version of the Nearness Of You began to play, she let her spinning mind wander, and it wandered to Rafael Barba. A week ago tonight, he was at her apartment for hours, he got her to watch An Affair To Remember with him. Soon, after the movie ended, she found that he was sleeping, he looked so peaceful. She covered him with her blanket, and walked into Noah's room to sleep in the rocking chair beside his bed. She awoke Sunday morning to aroma of strong Cuban coffee. She went into her bedroom, quickly changed her clothes, and joined Barba for a cup of coffee, and a long talk. She was debating whether or not to have a second cup when her phone rang. "I have to go" She told him. "This guy doesn't give up." Barba told her he had plenty of paperwork to work on, and they walked out of her apartment together. After work that day, she spoke to Barba on the phone, and he promised her a real breakfast when they both had time. Olivia got the sense that just before her phone rang, Barba was contemplating making eggs. During this past work week everything was for the most part normal. After work everyday Barba drove her home, and they ate his mother's leftovers together. Barba even read to Noah, but there was something off with her friend.. She understood that he was a very guarded man, but around each other they were both able to drop their guards, This past week, she found he was distant with her, and she didn't like it. She wondered if he was embarrassed because he fell asleep at her apartment. Was he angry with her? The song ended, and she walked back to the table to find her phone ringing. "Benson." She answered,

"Sidebar." She heard Barba say.

"Will you excuse me Brad?"

"Sure thing." Dr. Taylor said.

Olivia walked to the ladies room, and spoke into her phone. "I'm on my way, tell me where you are."

"At my mother's, I'll meet you at your apartment." Barba answered.

Ok." She answered She hung up her phone, left the ladies room, and walked back to the table.

"Is everything Ok?" Dr. Taylor asked.

"I'm sorry Brad. I have go."

"Duty calls, I'll call you later." Dr. Taylor replied. Olivia smiled, walked out, and quickly got into a cab.


	20. Chapter 20

Guilt, crept into Olivia's mind. If she left Dr. Taylor in the lounge due a work or home emergency that would be understandable, but Noah was with Lucy and her cousins, and Olivia had not been called into work. She left because Barba called and needed a sidebar. Why should she feel guilty? She was worried about him, and he felt like family. She got out of the cab, paid the driver, and within moments she was in her apartment. She placed her keys down, took out her cell phone, and dialed a number. She heard 2 rings before a voice came on the line." Hello."

"Brad it's Olivia. I'm sorry I had to leave. and I've been thinking." She sighed before continuing. I'm just too busy to date, it's not fair to you."

"Olivia may I say something?" She was glad Dr. Taylor had not left the lounge yet. She could hear Jazz music in the background.

"Of course."

"I know that you're busy, you warned me of that from the start. I know from what you told me that you often cancel plans, I know that Norah means everything to you, and that he needs as much of your time as possible. I'm busy too, but I think that you're interesting, and extraordinary. I'm willing to deal with your crazy schedule I just want to get to know you. I can also see that you are often preoccupied, and I can work with that."

"Dr. Taylor." She said.

"Brad" He corrected.

"Brad on top of everything else, there doesn't seem to be chemistry."

"I understand what you're saying. You're a beautiful women Olivia, I'm sure you have tons of men interested in you, I'm not stupid, . You're not leading me on, you wouldn't be on the phone with me having this conversation if that's what you were doing. Whatever you decide, I'm happy I met you, and I'm happy I was able to be there for Noah.t I'm asking you to give me a chance to prove myself to you Olivia, to prove myself to you, and when you're ready to prove myself to Noah." Dr. Taylor hung up.

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

"Liv, it's Rafael." Barba said as he knocked on Olivia's apartment door. It immediately opened, and Barba walked in, and shut the door. "Hi" He said. He tried not to stare too much at the dress she had on.

"I was on a date, when you called." Olivia sad quickly. She turned away from his green eyes.

"I can see that. How is the doctor?" Without asking, Barba walked into Olivia's kitchen to put away a bag of food, and soon she smelled coffee. He knew her kitchen better than she did.

"Good." "Olivia said.

"You never told me exactly how you ended up dating him?"

"Noah was sick, Dr. Taylor was there covering for Dr. Lee, and he asked to take me out to dinner, to make up for the long wait. I said no at first, but he said he needed to get out so I agreed."

"Ah, interesting, so let me see if I got this straight. You made an emergency appointment for Noah, the doctor examined him, gave him what he needed, and guilted, you a woman upset about her son's condition into going out with him."

"He didn't guilt me." Olivia said walking out of the room.. Barba was silent. He poured 2 cups of coffee, and brought them over to the coffee table. He heard Olivia's bedroom door close. He was sitting on the couch when she came out. Her hair was loose, and she changed into black slacks and a 3 quarter length sleeve red top. "He didn't guilt me." She repeated, she sat down, and took her coffee cup.

"That's what it looks like."

It's not, when he asked I just thought I should give him a chance."

"Because he said he needed to get out?"

"He just seemed lonely."

"He guilted you."

"He did not, he came off like a guy who doesn't have much time for a social life, and I understand that more than most."

Barba rolled his eyes. "If another woman told you this story, you would be screaming, that something was off." He took a long sip of coffee.

"Nothing seems off, he just seemed...

"What?"

"Overeager at first. I'm not talking about this. This is your sidebar Barba." Olivia said. She took a long sip of coffee while she waited for him to speak again.

"Overeager that's comforting." He replied.

Olivia signed. "I've dealt with overeager before. He was nervous."

"Nervous?"

"Yes nervous, this may be hard for you to believe Barba, but I have been known to make some men nervous. Drop it, this is your sidebar."

"You're right, this is my sidebar, I called it, so I choose the topic."

"Since when is that a rule of the sidebar?"

"Has he ever been here?"

"To my apartment No,I don't know him well enough for that. I meet him in public places, and the only time he's been around Noah is when he's serving as a doctor."

"I worry about you Liv."

"Well don't, I'm a big girl, I can take care of myself and my son, I don't know him well enough to trust him, but he seems normal, and tonight told me a lot."

"What do you mean?" Barba asked, gripping his coffee cup.

"Tonight I told him, I work in SVU, and he didn't ask too many questions. So many times in the past I've gone on dates with men I thought might be "normal", but the second they found out what I do for a living, they leaned in too close, and they wanted too many specifics. I didn't get that sense from him. That's a good sign." Barba wanted nothing more in this moment then to hug her. " Are you angry with me?"

"No, no, Liv. I'm not angry with you."

"Then talk to me. What's going on?" I thought you called this sidebar, because you wanted to talk about what's going on with you?"

"I did, I wanted to see you tonight."

"Rafa, I'm here." Talk."

Barba sighed. "Today is my grandparents wedding anniversary."

"Oh." He smiled at the sound of her oh.

"You sound relieved."

"I am", she admitted. "I was worried, something's been off with you almost all week, I was starting to think you were getting death threats and didn't want to tell me."

"I'm Ok. Liv. "He sighed and continued. "Knowing this day was coming, got me thinking about a lot of things My grandparents, they had such a strong relationship. When my abuela lost my abuelo I thought it was going to kill her. She couldn't eat. she couldn't sleep."

"What got her through it?" Olivia asked softly.

"She said I did. Can you believe it?"

"I can Rafa. You were so close to her, she must have felt that you needed her, and she did what she needed to do for you."

"I did need her, she helped raise me, and my abuelo was everything to me, he taught me so much about what it is to be a man. It would have destroyed me to lose both of them so close together. Every year after his death I took my grandmother out to dinner on their anniversary, and that wasn't always easy because I was too young at first to get a job, and I had to save up the money for it."

"Just the 2 of you would go out to dinner?"

"Yes, my mother had a family dinner the next night."

"Sounds nice." Olivia said softly.

"It was. When I talked to abuela I learned so much, about her, and about the life she had with my grandfather."They finished each other sentences, they could read each other. They were connected in everyway Sometimes, they drove each other crazy but they were always in each other's corner. My grandfather was a quiet man, Liv, quieter than my grandmother, but he always said when he met my grandmother he saw the other half of his soul. He said she was his life. I know he was happy he was going to leave this earth before her. He didn't want to see a reality without her."

"Did she know how much he loved her?"" Olivia asked. She sipped her coffee.

"I hope so, I think so. Did she know just how much he loved her? I don't think that was possible When I was really little I remember many times running into the kitchen when they were talking. I saw my grandfather grab her hand, and repeat, Mi Vida, Mi Vida over and over. My grandmother would whisper back Mi Corazon, Mi alma," Barba gazed into Olivia eyes, he thought he saw them watering.

"My heart, my soul." Olivia said. She got up from the couch. "Do you need more coffee?"

"I'll get it."

"Barba I'm already up." She walked in font of him, and grabbed his cup. He watched as she walked into the kitchen, poured the coffee, and walked back to the living area. She quickly gave him his cup, he was very conscious of the fact that his fingers touched hers as she handed him hot coffee. He hoped she didn't notice the fact that his eyes were glued to her. She sat down with her coffee. "That was a nice story Barba." He heard doubt in her voice

"You don't believe me Lieutenant?"

"Yes, I believe you to a point. It just sounds like a fairytale."

It's not. I saw it with my own eyes."

"I know, the only reason I believe it at all is because you told it to me, and you're an honest man."

"But?"

"If your grandparents had that kind of lasting love, the kind that you just described..."

"They did!" Baba answered.

"If they did, they are the only ones who had it."

"You think it's that rare."

"The way you described it yes."

"How did I describe it Liv?

"Like they loved each other more everyday, and they never got tired of each other."

"Yes and?"

"Nothing."

"No, finish what you were saying."

"Ok. I don't buy it, I don't believe that kind of love exists or at least anymore."

"It's the truth."

"It's a beautiful thought, a beautiful story, and I'm glad they had it,"

I understand it's rare, but why do you think it's now impossible."

"Because people are selfish, and they never seem satisfied."

Satisfied? Have you ever been unfaithful in a relationship?" He knew the answer before she spoke.

"No, that's not my style, but that doesn't every partner I ever had was faithful to me, and marriage, the kind of marriage you say your grandparents had requires another level of faithfulness, I have been working on this job for so long Barba, Do you know how many times I walked onto crime scenes, and found the most beautiful wedding photos, and pictures of holidays, and vacations?" Pictures can lie. What I saw so many times is that those photos of happy couples, of happy families were fake."

Barba took a long sip of coffee, as he thought about what to say next.. Olivia waited, wishing she would have just let him tell the story." Liv, if that kind of love doesn't exist then why bother to date?"

"Because, what if I'm wrong?" She paused, I'm so sorry Rafa, I shouldn't have said anything about your grandparents relationship. I'm sure they loved each other. "Don't listen to me. It would have been nice to meet them,"

"I have a picture with me." Barba said, they both put down their coffee. Barba took out a photo from his pocket, and Olivia leaned in close to see it. "Meet Gabriel, and Catalina Diaz." Olivia smiled at the couple in the photo. Gabriel's green eyes shone as he looked at the camera, his right arm was draped around his bride who smiled adoringly at him. They were standing outside a church.

"This was taken on their wedding day?" Olivia asked.

"Yes", Barba answered.

"You look so much like your grandfather." Olivia said softly.

"Thank-you" Barba said, suddenly feeling very good about himself.

"How is your mom doing today?" Olivia asked, still gazing at the photo.

"Better than I am." He said. She took her eyes off the photo, and looked at her friend. Barba could see Olivia was waiting for him to open up. "I can't take my grandmother out this year, I couldn't last year, and it's my fault."

"No, no Rafa it's not, and she wouldn't want you to think that way. You were a light in her life, you just said she survived because of you. I know you miss her, but think of all the good times you had with her, with both your grandparents.

"You're right."

"What can I do for you?"

I... I just need the company."

"You got it."

"Thank-you."

"It's nothing."

"Yes, it is." Olivia smiled, and Barba continued." You still sleeping in that rocking chair?"

"Yeah."

"You have to stop doing that."

"I'm fine."

"I bought you some food."

"You didn't have to do that."

"If it wasn't for me, you would live off of peanut butter and take-out." Barba said chuckling,"

"You're right, but it works, it's worked for years."

"You know I haven't forgotten Noah's birthday party next week?"

"Good" Olivia answered, "since you put yourself in charge of the cake. Let me pay for it."

"No Liv!"

"Half of it then."

"No, I'm insulted."

"Don't be, I just want to pay for my son's cake. I'm his mother, his birthday party is my responsibility."

"Liv. I want to do something nice for him, that's why I wanted to help you plan his party."

"Ok counselor you win." Olivia answered.

"Say that again."

"You win."

"Thank-you." Barba said giving her his half smile. "I'm getting you a plate."

"You're freaking me out Barba."

"How am I freaking you out now?" He said with a smile.

"You know your way around my kitchen better than I do."

"I know", he said, getting up, and walking to the kitchen to warm up some food.


End file.
